Rebekah Choong
Rebekah Choong is a mother of two who holds a full-time job. In addition, she is also a caregiver to her second daughter, Danielle who was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a genetic disorder that causes muscle weakness and progressive loss of movement. Rebekah has pushed through all odds, and found her way to becoming the best mother she can be for Danielle, and also the best woman for herself.
Q: You said there was a year where you were coping, trying to cope with this. How did things kind of change after that year?
A: We accepted Danielle. We accepted ourselves. Because we were blaming ourselves why this happened. Ya, we come to a reconciliation that we still can continue our lives with a new journey with Danielle. So, after that one year of grief, I look at Danielle in a different perspective. That she’s not here and messed up our family life. We are going to walk this journey together. In a way we customize our lifestyle to her and she customize herself to our lifestyle, so it’s not fully centralised only on Danielle alone.
Q: From a mother’s perspective, how difficult has it been for her?
A: Difficult part is taking it physically. All the treatments given to her is very invasive. Putting in tubes, taking out blood from her. When she is taking all these physical pain, as parents, we are taking on the emotional pain.
Q: Can I say that Danielle has taught you courage then?
A: She has taught me to become, from a mum with a normal kind of courage to a very strong woman that I didn’t even know I have it. And I know that this inner strength that I have to show her I’m not putting up a brave front. I’m with you and it helped me to realise who I am. It helped me to understand myself better. She helped me to know that I have this potential that I never knew when I don’t have Danielle yet. So, it is somehow like growing in a manner that I accepted myself and not her changing me in a way that I have to force myself to be another person.
Q: What advice would you have for parents of families who have just found out that their child has a severe disability?
A: Give yourself time to grieve. Give yourself time to time out. Talk to someone about your thoughts. It is so important. If everything is bottled up and just want to put up a brave front, eventually it is going to be very painful.
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