The Art of Doing Nothing

How creating space can help you heal, find joy and clarify your vision.

Karōshi (過労死), which can be translated literally as “overwork death” in Japanese, is occupational sudden mortality. The major medical causes of karōshi deaths are heart attack and stroke due to stress and a starvation diet.

I remember hearing a news story about a choir formed by Japanese women who lost their husbands to karōshi. That was a thing? Overworking to death? What? I later began working with an American life coach who lost her husband to the very same thing. They had the kids, the house, the wealthy lifestyle and a goal to retire early. His health began to suffer due to stress from his executive role. They tried to pivot and perhaps leave the state, but it was too late. His health digressed, he developed a brain tumor and died at 44. She realized they had prioritized the wrong life.

For those of us who are doers, we cram every square inch of our life with doing. When we aren’t working, we are writing or exercising or journaling or reading a new self-help book or insuring our children are the most perfect or buying things to make the place we live more perfect or trying to make ourselves more perfect. We are advertised to within an inch of our life to insure we are dressing better, juicing easier, working out harder, working more productively and photographing all of it at the perfect angle. Harder, better, faster, stronger. In a consumption-oriented society, you are rewarded for increasing your level of productivity by doing more — not by doing less.

And yes, we champion mindfulness in 2019 and tech CEOs often herald the virtue of meditation. However, they also go on and on about their extreme diets, fitness obsessions and productivity hacks. Mindfulness is just a bandaid covering up their gaping addiction to doing more, more and more.

So what happens when we do less or -gasp- we do nothing? What happens when you substitute the term “creating space” for “doing nothing.” Nature abhors a vacuum, the old adage goes. So, there really is no such thing as nothing. What happens when you strip away all the stuff and allow yourself to just be. Not you the executive or you the mom or you the famous person or you the whatever-title-it-is-you-define-yourself-by… but just you — being.

I have been experimenting with this idea. It happened after I got extremely sick over a month ago. I felt like my body was shutting down from stress. However, I didn’t want to slow down. But I have learned that when it comes to stress, if you don’t stage your own intervention — nobody else will.

So, I rested. I let myself be sick. I stopped journaling. I stopped pressuring myself to work out. I didn’t bother with meditation. I pushed aside the myriad books I was reading (I read four at a time because… productivity). I ignored my keyboard and the guilt I give myself over not playing it / playing at a level I don’t think is great. I didn’t worry about writing songs. I didn’t worry about blogging. I didn’t worry about the doing stuff Olympics I usually participate in.

I reduced my life to the bare essentials: work, marriage, recovery and eating.

I felt uncomfortable. I had free time. I was bored. It’s a curious experience to strip away all the self-imposed pressure and mindfully choose what to put into your life. I began noticing my surroundings more. I somehow started feeling more energized about aspects of my work. I began working on parts of the house that had been neglected. I played my piano once and wrote the best song I’ve written in years. I practiced it for three days straight. Then, I didn’t feel like practicing anymore. So, I didn’t.

*Deep breath*

This is the work of grounding ourselves. It is painful, boring and allows you to sit with what it is you truly want instead of whatever it is you’re forcing yourself to do. It is hard to get used to, but I feel like it is necessary to maintain sanity and find joy.

I mentor a lot of people. One thing that always amazes me is when I watch new leaders take on a role and attempt to Tasmanian Devil the situation. They don’t prioritize building relationships, they simply launch into diatribes and insane checklists filled with all of the things that they’re going to do. Do, do, do. (Is some of this caused by Impostor Syndrome? Yes.) In the end, it’s ultimately hard to do much of anything as a leader when relationships and buy-in aren’t there. The irony is that sometimes doing nothing and focusing on simply listening and building relationships is the best start. However, in a world of doing — this seems counter intuitive.

If you are judging your self and your worth by how much you do, consider pivoting to judging your self and your worth by how much you can be.

Be present. Be mindful. Be breathing. Be patient.

Life is hard. People are hard to deal with. So much of modern society is breathing through absolutely bullshit situations with a smile and a “Best!” It is draining.

Create space for yourself. Take a vacation without wondering what will happen if you’re not at work. Allow yourself to not be perfect. Allow yourself to build relationships instead of treating people like checklists as you ascent your mountain of personal achievement. Allow yourself to rediscover what truly brings you joy instead of cramming a bunch of crap into your life that you think you’re “supposed to like.”

Let yourself slow down and be radically spacious, you just might be surprised by how much beauty you find and how much you can create.