The Stay-In-Your-Lane Story

When I was early in my career, I thought a gal was out to “destroy” me. She was getting all of the opportunities that were supposed to be mine! She was my boss’ favorite! She was a goody two shoes! She was going to get my promotion! I hate herrrrrrrr! (Not very feminist, right?) Yet I see this all too often in business with women I mentor…

A mentor I trusted, who had listened to me whine one too many times finally said, “You know those things horses wear at the race track? Do that! Stay in your lane!” How dare she?! I was angry, but I gave it some thought.

When we focus on our supposed competition vs. creation, we become focused on the negative not the positive. If you are focused on the problem and not the solution — you will become the problem. (Ps. Nobody wants a problem around.) When you focus on your sphere of influence and what you have the power to change, you will feel empowered and energized.

Here is the big lesson: no one can take what is meant to be yours from you. Your path is your own. Often times, the biggest hindrance to our success — is ourselves.

Want to know how this story ended?

As I stopped whining, focusing on the other gal and began to stay in my lane, I was put in charge of social media at my job. That decision changed my life, friends. The CEO began to take note of my work (and I was a small fry that worked in the back of the office). Other execs noticed my work as well and it led to lucrative freelance work. Not long after, I got a big time social media job with a massive raise.

And re. that girl who was “out to destroy me”? As time passed, I realized that my bosses were giving her better opportunities because she was a better employee. She was simply doing a better job than I was! She wasn’t entitled, she was hungry. Her career path has gone totally different than mine as well. She didn’t want what I wanted. She was not out to destroy me. Today I am very fond of her and I also apologized to her many years ago for my behavior. Stand by your sisters — not against them — they are not out to destroy you.

Your path is your own. No one can pluck you out of your destiny. Stay in your lane, focus on what you have the power to change and be the solution — not the problem. Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the opportunity. Be the change, just for today.