Thrive Now: Live the Life You Want
This piece is important. Not because I’m important, however. In fact, I think one of the key selling features of this piece and it’s power to change your life is that I’m virtually nobody. I’m not Gary Vee or Tim Ferris or Tony Robbins or Ryan Holiday or any of the other wealthy, woke white guys telling you how to super charge your life. I am a petite, random Latina from Southern California who wants you to know that you can choose happiness right now.
Pain Cred
When we read pieces like this, we often look for the author’s cred. I do. If I see that someone comes from a wealthy family or hasn’t suffered or isn’t all that successful, I internally knock the piece down. Some of this is healthy skepticism and some of it is useless cynicism. Be honest with yourself so you can spot the difference. Be wary of your internal blockers that want to resist the truth.
All I ask is that, if you’re hurting right now or if you think your life could be better — even amidst this 2020 trash fire, that you consider these words. I think it can be better. I think, that barring clinical issues, you can be happy anytime you choose.
Prospering during Pain
This year is painful. My personal pain cred is that I’ve lost two cousins to COVID 19 (aged 47 and 27), another uncle is in the hospital with it, a dear friend took her life, I started a challenging new job two days before the shut down and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder somewhere amidst all of this. There’s more, but now isn’t the time to get into it.
Despite “my” story, I have noticed that everyone is dealing with their own version of this. Everyone has their “COVID dark night of the soul” going on. It could be financial challenges, family challenges, work challenges, addiction challenges or relationship challenges. We are not alone in our suffering. It seems global pandemics are the great equalizer.
That said, I’ve noticed that something else is going on.
There are huge, positive universal shifts happening.
Despite all the bad news that wants to drown us in fear, I am seeing people blossom and bust out of their cocoons. I am witnessing so many people getting sober, leaving toxic work environments, finally having tough conversations they had avoided, ending relationships (and friendships) that no longer serve them, coming out of the closet, and more. It feels like there are people are picking up the baton in the relay race of life to run like they always knew they could.
What if this painful period has been an accelerator to cut through the noise and help us focus on what matters? What if this time is a powerful reckoning that life is short and if you don’t take action to change it — no one else will? What if the power to rise above the life you’ve settled for and grasp the life you’ve dreamed — is in your hands and available right now.
Well guess what? It is.
The Work
I said to someone on my team recently, “Well, it’s called ‘work,’ it’s not called ‘fun time.’” Here’s the rub: changing our lives and pursuing our dreams takes work. It involves stepping outside of our comfort zone. It involves having courage. It comes with no guarantees. It forces you to leap before you see the net to see if you’re serious. Is it worth it? Yes.
Here’s an analogy: you know why I think most people cheat when they’re unhappy in relationships? I think most people would rather take the easy way out — even if it creates an insane amount of wreckage — than act on their intuition with faith. The hard thing to do is end a relationship with no guarantee of what’s next. The easy thing to do is toss caution to the wind. In the end however, the easy choice becomes a nuclear explosion with a massive blast radius of bad karma. The hard thing ironically, becomes the path forward with minimal strife and maximum benefit. It’s like the amended Robert Frost quotation, “the only way out is through.”
Inspired Action
There are things inside of you that you know you want to change. There are things in your life that you’re unhappy with. There are areas where you know deep down that you’re settling. You’ve grown too comfortable with low grade depression and anxiety. You’re afraid. You want insurance. You want a sign.
*Waves hi*
This is the sign. You can do this.
Start taking inspired action now. Write down your goals and dreams. Make small changes to start. Make that stupid vision board that you think is hokey but kind of believe in. Download some audiobooks about positive thinking. (I am really enjoying Idil Ahmed’s Manifest Now.) Be ever-so-kind to yourself because our existence requires a lot of self care at the moment. Stop reading bad news. Stop hanging out with negative people. Rise above the noise and remind yourself that you’re busting out of that cocoon of mediocrity.
Proof
Listen, it won’t start out easy. It will be tough at times. You will have to stay focused on your vision and ignore your doubts. You are regrooving a record. But you can do it.
Example? After an early quarantine carb-a-thon (and subsequent autoimmune diagnosis), I decided to get out and get back in shape. I started going on walks and then, nature hikes. I started paddle boarding. At home, I began doing free Barry’s Bootcamp work outs off Instagram. I was bad. Oh my word, I was so bad. Cardio is not my love language. I cut out gluten, dairy, reduced sugar and began finally drinking water. I upped my supplements. Whenever I wanted to quit working out I would say, “only five minutes more” until I made it to the end of the work out. I realized that I could take one day off (but not two), without affecting my motivation. I just kept trying.
And you know what? I’m feeling good. I’m feeling Nina Simone levels of good. My skin is clear, my hopes are high. I feel charged on the negative ions coming my way from nature. All it took was some sweat equity and courage to change. (I know that sounded aggressively cheesy and IDC.) It has been work to regroove this record, but it was honestly more work to stay miserable.
A Happy Ending
I will end with a recent story from a friend.
She was telling me about how her partner had made a huge decision to walk away from a career she’s had for over a decade. One of those careers that you become identified with. A career with its own fame and wealth. A career most would envy, but that no longer served this woman.
“She decided to quit… and it’s weird, I noticed she’s so much lighter now. Tatiana, she’s even laughing in her dreams!”
I replied to my friend — who pondering her own life changes — like myself, “What if that’s on the other side for us?”
I think it is.
The hard part is actually the suffering you’ve been dealing with all this time. The lightness comes in deciding to leave it behind. Choosing to change and move forward is the gateway to freedom and your path to joy. It may take work, but I believe you will be propelled forward by the certainty that you are pursuing the dream life you’ve always imagined. That life is tagging you into this relay race, pick up its baton.
Godspeed.
