Adopt a Non-Attached Mindset; Newsletter #9
4 Little Wonder Bites 💭
📖 Current Read; How To Improve Your Motivation About Almost Anything — Nick Wignall
Nick Wignall has spent a great amount of time working with people to help build their motivation. Clients and friends, he knows a lot about the way motivation works.
He believes that there are two ways that motivation plays out, and he outlines them in his article. The first way, and perhaps the most desired way, is when motivation propels you into action. This is the type of motivation you get when you have a new idea, or start something that interests you, and motivation propels you to keep going. The thing you’re doing is enticing, and you want to keep going. You run with it, and make progress, as you have the initial motivation that comes with something fresh and exciting. Motivation first, action second.
The second way motivation works, is when you dont actually have the initial motivation, yet via your actions, you force it to arrive. These are times when you act, you do something hard, and motivation comes along with it. You do an action that leads to motivation, rather than in the first scenario, where your motivation leads to action. This is harder, as you know you should do something, yet you don’t have the excitement that propels you into action. Your discipline propels you into action in this scenario.
In life, there’s no ‘feel more motivation’ button that you can press and it provides you with surges of motivation. When you don’t feel like doing something, because you lack motivation, the only way to find that motivation, is to do things that lead to feeling motivated.
He says that ‘taking action is something we have direct control over; feeling motivated is not.’ Motivation comes and goes, and when it’s there, we need to take advantage of it. In all the other cases, we need to bring it to us. We do that via action. When we do something difficult yet worthwhile, it often leads to energy, confidence, and more motivation.
🎧 Current Podcast: New Years Resolutions — Emma Chamberlain
In this podcast episode, Emma focuses on some of her new years resolutions, why she’s decided to set them, and how she will go about achieving them!
She states at the start of the podcast that she never truly saw the need for new years resolutions before this year. She saw that, if there was something in her life that she wanted to change, she’d change it on that day, rather than waiting weeks or months till January first. However, she’s also come to the conclusion that having a few big goals for the year might provide direction. The act of trying to make resolutions, trying to write a few things down, can help you find out what things in your life you might want to change.
One of her main resolutions is to continue cooking, and try at-least two new recipes each week. She already cooks during her day to day life, so saw this resolution to be doable and enticing. She focuses on this as the truly wants to improve her cooking skills, and I might take this on board too! Later in the podcast, she mentions the resolution of cooking again, but in regards to falling short or slipping up.
She mentions that, putting too much pressure on yourself to complete your resolutions may lead to burnout, and you might not complete them at all. Similarly, putting no pressure on yourself may also lead to none of the resolutions getting completed. The key is balance. Using cooking new recipes as an example, she says that if she was to cook two new recipes every month, rather than every week, she’d still learn an incredible amount of skills. She highlights the importance of not beaitng yourself up if you don’t stick to what you set at the start of the year, as cooking two new meals a month is still great progress.
The main takeaway from setting new years resolutions is to make them doable, and to not put too much pressure on yourself. Make them enticing, make them something beneficial, yet if you dont stick to it, that’s okay too. Find out why you didnt follow through with the resolution. Was it unrealistic? Was it unappealing to you?
Reflect, and create an action plan on how you will achieve the goal next time.
Idea of the Week 💭
I stumbled across this concept during one of my periods of conscious consumption, yet I’ve found it to be incredibly valuable. Darius Foroux notes the benefits of being less attached and letting go.
He first outlines the difficulty of letting things go once you’re already attached. If, over time, you become attached to beliefs, values, ideas, maybe even people, it is extremely difficult to simply let go. Rather than trying, and potentially failing, to detach from something or someone, adopt a non-attached mindset.
In this mindset, you don’t truly hold onto anything. Holding onto things, and consequently anger, stems from our desire to protect the image we have of ourselves. If someone insults us, and it goes against who we think we are, we get angry as a form of protection. We perhaps shout and insult this person, as we want to prove we are not what they say we are. This action hurts us more than them.
Yet if you adopt this mindset, you let that experience pass without holding onto it. You don’t put any of your emotional energy into it, for you know it isn’t worth it. The anger isn’t present, for your main focus is letting it pass. You dont hold any grudge onto what just happened, you let it go.
This helps an individual attain peace! For if they are spending less time dealing with negative emotions over events out of their control, and spending more time accepting and in turn letting go, they have nothing pent up to let out. They forget about it, as they recognise it is something out of their control, nothing worth worrying about.
Note, this mindset doesn’t mean you never react. It just prevents us from reacting too much to situations that could’ve been let go. If something seemingly bad occurs, but it isn’t fatal, let it pass, try not to attach any emotion to it.
✍🏻 Tweet of the Week
You’re the CEO of your life.
Feel free to fire anyone that’s not in line with your success.
This tweet from @FitFounder highlights the importance of who you surround yourself with, and that you make sure they help bring you success.
It is a common belief that you will end up similar to who you surround yourself with. If your closest friends are all body builders, it is common that you may start weight lifting too, but if not, you’ll have at least considered it.
In your life, you need to be critical with who you surround yourself with. You need to work out if the people closest to you are actually beneficial and worth your time. If they are, keep them and value them. Help them reach their goals too. However, if you begin to realise that those around you dont encourage your success, ‘fire’ them, for you are the CEO of your own life. Remove them, in the kindest way possible, before they do any more damage. A few great questions to ask yourself to help figure this out are:
Are they the type of people that celebrate your success and encourage it? Or are they the type to bring you down and poke holes at your success?
Do they give you energy, and when you’re around them to do you feel motivated? Or do you feel yourself becoming drained, for their energy is simply not in line with yours?
If, from analysing your friendships and asking these questions, you realise that some people close to you simply don’t have your best interests at heart, take action. Do whatever you can to remove the poison, for it is keeping you from thriving.
To end, here’s a question from me! ⚡️
Many of us live life in the fast lane, yet taking a minute or two to pace ourselves is essential.
In order to pace yourself, how will you take time today to slow down, reflect and simply think?
Have a great week!