Six Tips for Godly Grandparenting

Bending over, stooping down, leaning in — such is the posture of a grandparent. We humble our height to equal that of a grandchild, to see eye to eye, to welcome them with outstretched arms. Whether gray-haired or dyed, arthritic or still athletic, grandparents are known for their body language.

One day, while snuggling with my oldest granddaughter, my son-in-law noted, “Nothing is so safe as Mimi’s arms.” That’s how grandchildren should be made to feel: that they are loved and protected, that they are treasured.

Proverbs 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged…”

My crown consists of five jewels: diamond, emerald, ruby, peridot, and topaz — the five birth months of my precious grandchildren. I am Mimi to two granddaughters and three grandsons, ranging in age from two to twelve. Being a grandmother is the biggest blessing of my life, and I treasure each moment I have with each grandchild. Each one is so beautiful and unique, and I marvel at God’s handiwork.

Grandparents often feel that their input in their grandchildren’s lives has minimal long-term effects. I can tell you otherwise. During my years as an advanced high school English teacher, I had my students participate in the Legacy Project, which sponsored an international writing contest. Students were to interview someone sixty years or older. Most of my students interviewed a grandparent.

From the students’ story presentations in class, I learned the importance and impact of grandparents. I received “thank yous” from family members for the assignment, who shared how it had brought their families closer together. One student used her essay as a eulogy — her grandfather passed away just a few months after it was completed.

My older siblings and I often reminisce about our grandparents. My paternal grandmother came over every Sunday for dinner as we were growing up. Before she arrived, she would stop at a local drug store and buy a small brown bagful of candy bars for my three siblings and me. Grandma also kept a jarful of cookies on her kitchen counter and a refrigerator stocked with our favorite sodas. I keep an accessible bin full of snacks for my grandchildren, and often have their favorite root beer on hand.

My maternal grandfather was a card shark, and I developed a love of playing cards from him. He taught me strategies to be a smarter player that helped me improve at other games as well. Playing games with my grandchildren allows me to teach them while also having fun.

During my twelve years of grandparenting, I have learned what comes naturally and what needs to be developed in my relationships with each grandchild. Here are six things that God has taught me along the way:

1️⃣ Be a source of love and comfort

I offer hugs and snuggles and back rubs. I love waiting on them, making popcorn for movie time, or ensuring they drink enough water. Usually, I sit with them as they are watching a movie. When my three-year-old grandson reclines on the sofa with his favorite blanket to watch Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, we cuddle closely, and I cradle his small hand in mine. When the grandchildren come to my home, I want them to experience a sense of warmth, coziness, and relaxation. I have toys, games, books, and blankets that each grandchild favors.

2️⃣ Be fun and creative

Since I no longer experience social interaction daily (being retired), I often forget to smile. I need to make a conscious effort to have a pleasant countenance that makes the grandchildren feel welcome and communicates that I enjoy being with them. Also, it’s important to be silly with them. We make funny faces at each other, talk in different accents, and act overly dramatic. Playing make-believe with dolls and stuffed animals might be a stretch for you, but grandchildren love it. We have tea parties with the dolls and play “restaurant” using the toy kitchen. For my four-year-old grandson, we set up a police station using puppets who “hide out” with play money. He loves searching for them wearing his police costume. Cardboard boxes can be turned into stages, houses, or cars. Tape, glue, markers, and crayons provide hours of fun as we use our imaginations together. Kids love to see the playful side of grandparents.

3️⃣ Create movement

This sixty-eight-year-old grandmother is thankful that I am still physically able to shoot some hoops, hit tennis balls, and play Marco Polo in the swimming pool. I get down on the floor to play board games, do large puzzles, and build blocks. Kids appreciate the effort. But if you are not as physically nimble as you once were, bake cupcakes, do a craft, or simply take a walk with your grandchildren. Introduce them to things that you enjoy while also considering things that they like to do.

4️⃣ Be present

When I attend the sporting events of my two oldest grandchildren, they wave hello and come up for a quick hug, then they are off with their friends. Yet, I know it means a lot to them that I come to their games and watch them participate in sports. I also attend musical events at their school, help with holiday parties, and volunteer as a guest reader in their classes.

5️⃣ Be a role model

My grandchildren know that I attend church, lead a life group, and pray for them daily during my morning devotions. My faith sustained me through the loss of my late husband, their dear Papa. I hope that they have seen how God has faithfully continued to work in my life, leading me to a new home, a new marriage, and new ministries.

6️⃣ Act honorably toward their parents

As children are instructed to honor their parents, it is my duty to honor them, too. I learned it is important to observe and support the parents’ boundaries of bedtime and of providing healthy snacks and meals (with the occasional treats). As I adhere to their parents’ rules, my grandchildren better understand what it means to “obey their parents in the Lord.” I want their parents to trust me as I care for their children.

Poignant memories of times spent together with family will forever be embedded in a child’s mind. Grandparents make a significant contribution to the overall well-being of their grandchildren, and being a regular part of their lives positively impacts the older generation, too. When generations of a family consistently interact, stronger bonds are developed between them, providing a sense of belonging and well-being. Such is the wisdom and beauty of God’s design for His people.

Written by: Luann Haskins
Published by Woodside Bible Church, www.woodsidebible.org