Through the Fire | A Share Your Story Blog
Be Advised: The following contains true events regarding attempted suicide and sexual assault.
How can God truly be good when the world around us is so bad?
If you’ve ever asked that question, you’re not alone. No matter where we go, we see evidence of war, persecution, injustice, hatred, suffering, chaos, and death. If God really is who He says He is, then where is He amidst the hurt and turmoil that seems to constantly surround humanity?
Ashara Hood grew up in a world filled with abuse, hurt, anger, and dysfunction. Raised on the west side of Detroit, she endured her father’s addictions, her mother’s cancer, sexual abuse from a family member, and extreme anxiety by the time she was 13 years old. As an adult, Ashara struggled through two unhealthy marriages, deep depression, homelessness, and chronic illness until she met the Lord at the cusp of taking her own life. This is her story: a testament to the true love and saving grace that Jesus offers — even when you’ve been through the fires of hell.
“My story makes no sense, which is why I know it’s all God,” Ashara said with a warm smile. “My parents were married, but my father was an alcoholic and addicted to crack cocaine. We joined a megachurch in Detroit, and I grew up there, but in between that time, my story was filled with so much trauma. I saw my parents battling it out, my aunt and my mother go through breast cancer, and myself being molested for five years by a family member. You put all that into a child who’s now introduced to God, and there’s that struggle of faith. What in the world is happening to my life? It made no sense to me. So, I grew into a young adult who began to make some really unwise decisions.”
“My obsession, my idol, was to be married and have a family. I had seen my own family unravel, and I figured, ‘Well, I can do this better. I want somebody to love me.’ But I don’t know what love was. When somebody is cursing at you, or threatening you, or pulling weapons on you — this is what I see, so to me, that’s love. And guess what? That led me into domestic abuse relationships.”
At the age of 22, Ashara married a man that she knew from church, but their relationship descended into patterns of abuse that lasted for seven years. Finally, after fathering a child with another woman, Ashara’s husband walked out of her life forever.
“It broke me,” she said. “And unfortunately, after that, I began to spiral. I had been hit by a drunk driver a few years before and broke my nose. They had prescribed me painkillers, but I got addicted to those just to numb the pain from the divorce. Then, at 28 years old, I had a nervous breakdown. I ended up in a mental hospital in Southfield for two weeks. That whole time, I was dealing with depression, anxiety, anger, bitterness, and confusion. I was just mad at the world.”
“I didn’t think I was going to see 30. I didn’t really want to see 30. Deep depression is like you’re in this dark hole, so for people who’ve never dealt with it, they don’t really understand what it’s like. They always say, ‘Oh, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.’ But I saw nothing. Before I went to the hospital, I wrote a letter. And I remember taking the pills out, getting some wine, and waking up 18 hours later — so mad that I was still here. They were very rough and toxic years of my life.”
Ashara was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2011 and became unable to work because of the pain. Her parents covered her rent while she applied for social security, but both of her appeals were rejected.
“Then I started dating somebody who wasn’t in the church,” she said. “I figured that maybe there was somebody else that might treat me better because he’s from the streets. I don’t know where that logic came from, but it wasn’t the Lord. My parents didn’t approve of the relationship and ended up cutting me off, so I became homeless. I continued to date the young man, and we got married in 2014. Of course, that was a disaster, so it ended in divorce a few years later.”
“Then, one day, I came to Woodside Troy. I was still married, and I was just at my wit’s end with the second marriage. I was like, ‘I messed up again. I’m 37 and my life sucks.’ And I said, ‘Lord, I’m about to write these letters again. If you don’t do something, if you don’t find me someplace to go right now, I’m done.’ I started googling, and Woodside’s Saturday night service popped up. I was like, ‘For real, Jesus? Alright, I’m gonna call your bluff, Lord.’ So, I went over, and I could faintly hear the Holy Spirit say, ‘I don’t need you to do anything but sit.’ When I left, I was like, ‘Okay, I guess that wasn’t so bad. I’m still here.’”
Three months later, Ashara decided to try out the Pontiac campus, which was much closer to where she was living at the time. To her surprise, she recognized the pastor immediately — he’d been a student at the youth group she used to attend in Detroit.
“I said, ‘Oh God, you’ve got to be kidding me. What are these little breadcrumbs here? This is crazy.’ But walking into the Pontiac campus felt like home. Then the pastor says, ‘We need you here.’ I said, ‘I’m not doing church right now. I’m good.’ But I came back the next Sunday and the next, and by June of 2016, I was joining.”
“I was officially separated from my second marriage the next year. Then, I had a mini-stroke at the age of 41, and I finally woke up. I realized I didn’t have a real relationship with God, so I said, ‘I’m shutting everything off except you, God. I’m going to get it right this time. I’m 41, and I keep making the same mistakes. Something’s got to change.’ Next thing I know, I’m knee-deep serving.”
In the years after she surrendered her life to God, Ashara stepped out on a short-term mission trip to Puerto Rico and took on the roles of administrative assistant and Life Groups director at her campus. Today, she’s focusing on building a ministry with her husband, Marv, while looking ahead at where God is directing her next.
“It’s almost as if I’m looking from the outside in, at somebody else’s story. I literally walk through my house, and I’m like, ‘God, I can’t believe this is my life.’ I’m in awe. Who is this person? Who am I? I have never had this much peace in my life. Every morning I wake up, I say, ‘God, I give you this day, and I give you my yes. I don’t know what that entails, but I’m going to walk in faith and trust you.’”
“And so, I know He’s just leading me into the next step of obedience because all I want to do is tell the story. The story is ministry. The story is reminding people that we serve a God greater than depression, suicide, divorce, homelessness, rape, domestic abuse — all this craziness. Ashara has been through the fire and, by the grace of God, does not look burnt, nor does she smell like smoke. And that’s all God.”
If you or someone you know is wrestling with any mental health or abuse issues, please contact us by clicking here. We have resources available and individuals who are trained to help you.
Written by Sierra Okoniewski
Published by Woodside Bible Church, www.woodsidebible.org
