The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being President

An outline of his latest book draft

Photo by History in HD on Unsplash

1. Be born rich. It’s easy.
2. Start many showy businesses with your name on them. It doesn’t matter how well they succeed.
3. Develop a memorable personal appearance. A bit of clownishness helps.
4. As an actor, portray a strong man. It worked for Ronald Reagan.
5. Cultivate followers who are suckers and losers, but too dumb to realize you think of them that way.
6. Complain, like your followers, that you have been treated unfairly in ways that have denied your potential greatness.
7. Revive political and economic policies that are so old that your followers don’t know how and why they failed.
8. Run for an anti-government party. It worked for Ronald Reagan.
9. When elected, rule by decree, and sign your decrees in public with a showy signature.