5 Easy Steps To Becoming A Fitness Guru by Osmosis
Welcome to the illustrious “Fitness Guru by Osmosis,” a title as prestigious as it is self-awarded.
Congratulations. You have now ripped the proverbial Band-Aid off the foundational steps of acquiring a gym membership you rarely use.
Plus, you’ve become an adept at the noble art of cramming countless hours of workout videos into your weekend. Because clearly, watching other people exercise is just as effective as doing it yourself, right?
This has allowed you to do everything from amassing a wealth of fitness wisdom and expertise that personal trainers acquire over the years — minus that irritating need for certification or any real-world experience.
Cultivate An Online Persona
Begin with a concise handle that exudes “health” and “vitality” — something like “FitFreak365” or “SweatAndKale.”
Because the number one rule of success. A steady, unbroken stream of Instagram selfies. Featuring you in newly purchased workout gear (bonus points if a brand logo is clearly visible).
Best near gym equipment, or sipping from a pleasing smoothie out of — what else? — a mason jar.
The actual workout is optional and entirely secondary to the photo op.
