An Invisible Gorilla in Your Life
You live in a beautiful world. Yet, as you rush through our daily routines, it’s so easy to let it all fade into the background.
“The more often we see the things around us — even the beautiful things — the more they become invisible to us. This is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds — even those we love. Because we see things so often, we see them less and less”
The Invisible Gorilla experiment is a well-known study that demonstrates inattentional blindness, a phenomenon that occurs when people are unable to notice obvious things in their field of vision because they are focusing on something else
The quote at the beginning gave me a wake-up call because it reminds me that, without realizing it, we start taking the things that matter the most for granted. And I think we’ve all been guilty of this at some point. I know I have.
The Nature of Familiarity Blindness
Your brain is efficient. When you see something over and over again, the brain essentially says, “Hey, I’ve seen this already, I don’t need to pay attention to it anymore.” While that helps you navigate daily life without being overwhelmed, it also has a downside: you stop noticing the beauty and value in the things that are most familiar to you.
Think about your morning walk or commute. Maybe there’s a stunning tree you pass by every day. Do you still notice it? Or has it become just another part of the scenery? These things usually blend into the background of daily routines.
I love sunsets and astonishing views. From my department, I can look at the scenery my city offers. But sometimes, I get caught up in my work, or other projects I have in mind that I usually forget to watch the sunset every once in a while.
Taking People — or Pets for Granted
This isn’t just about sunsets or trees. You might do this with the people — or pets in your lives too. The more present someone is, the more likely we are to take them for granted.
My dog used to be very active when she was younger. She would greet me jumping around and trying to knock me off. Now, she greets me with the same enthusiasm but stopped jumping. sometimes she squeals because her arm is swollen and it's painful for her, she’s not as strong as before but still carries a beautiful look when you meet her. That’s the painful part about familiarity: you often don’t notice what you’re missing until it’s too late.
This is the risk we run when we stop appreciating the people or we love. Romantic relationships, friendships, family — they all need the same kind of attention and gratitude that we give new and exciting things. Just because someone is always there doesn’t mean we should stop showing them they matter.
How to Overcome Familiarity Blindness
The good news? It’s possible to snap out of this cycle. But it takes mindfulness and intention. Here are a few things that have worked for me:
- Practice Mindfulness: One way to start seeing the beauty around you again is to slow down and be present. When I take out my dog for a walk, I usually see what my dog is sniffing. She has taught me to be more present and enjoy the things that are in front of me. I started to feel the breeze running through my face or started to listen to the chirping birds. For you, it could be the way the light hits the wall in your room or the sound of rain against your window. When I started doing this, I noticed things that had been around me for years, but I’d been too busy to appreciate them.
- Express Gratitude: A daily gratitude practice can make a world of difference. I am beginning a gratitude journal, writing three things I am grateful for at the end of the day. They are not huge, but they are meaningful to me. For you, maybe it’s the warmth of your coffee in the morning or the purr of your cat. I found that focusing on small, often overlooked moments helped me reconnect with the things I was taking for granted.
- Change Your Perspective: When something becomes too familiar, try looking at it through fresh eyes. Imagine you’re seeing it for the first time or that it could be gone tomorrow. When my boyfriend told me this, it shifted the way I interacted with the world. I no longer walked past the trees without a second glance or ignored the messages from people I cared about.
The Ripple Effect of Appreciation
When you actively work on appreciating what’s around you, it’s not just your perception that changes. Your relationships improve, your sense of fulfillment grows, and life feels more meaningful.
Think about the people you see every day. Maybe it’s a partner, a sibling, or even a friend. When was the last time you showed them how much they mean to you? Small acts of kindness, like leaving a note or simply saying, “I appreciate you,” can have a profound impact.
It’s easy to let the beauty of the world, and the people you love, fade into the background when they become familiar. But it’s up to you to keep noticing, to stay curious, and to never let what’s valuable become invisible.
The next time you feel like life is ordinary, pause. Look around. What has been your invisible gorilla? Whether it’s the laughter of a partner, the rustling of the leaves, or the way the sky looks at dusk, take a moment to appreciate it. Life becomes richer when we learn to see it again for the first time.
