Feline
Luckily I’m in the pact.
Survived deaths for the same rooted reason.
First,
A visit from a so-called King
one who handed a rose.
An act that grained a thought- too much for an act.
thought all roses are like that.
too sweet,
too young,
too much.
I never saw roses the same way after that.
Second,
An attempt- a handwritten letter,
To a boy I never liked- but what a face
nothing but a pretty face.
I’ll never forget that laugh.
He laughed after knowing.
Shame- I met shame that day.
Swore never to dare to do something for them ever again- A pretty face.
Third,
A yes- I said yes to something I don’t want.
A sincere invite so I did.
We fell.
We both fell at the same time.
Slap, I did.
It was a first, an involuntary one.
It made me do something I didn’t want.
it made me something I believe I am not.
Guilt- I met guilt that day
it never left.
A death of all sincere yeses.
Fourth,
Childhood- a core part of a being.
Being away from both parents made me lack- belief.
I smiled,
I told them I’m okay.
Pretense- I met pretense that day
it became my loyal friend.
it’s the only thing that saved me from the trouble of explaining.
Fifth,
A stranger who wears black.
He was everything unearthly.
Magic, spirits, and ghosts,
I never saw him again after a third.
Curiosity- I met curiosity.
Since then, I saw black as a glittering thing,
Never saw other colors the same way.
Death for other colors
Sixth,
To make a father proud,
A consistent win from gliding made mine.
Pride — I met pride.
Thought winning is everything
until I lost.
Father never blamed me,
but I did- I can’t find a way to stop.
Never wanted a win the same way I did back then.
Seventh,
To be the only- Loyalty.
Such a wonderful thing to have and to offer.
Until I met betrayal.
Lies after lies,
Pain after pain,
Since then, I questioned everything
all truth, even mine.
Eighth,
A man I thought I knew
One who made me forget all the right things
to go do the things I never thought I would.
I met love- I still believe I did.
I’ve never held onto someone so much to keep
as much as I did back then.
Holding on made me lose everything
time, dreams, career, drive, joy, people-
I lost myself for something not meant for me.
A shouldn’t.
A heart died rejoicing as it whispered,
“Thank you for pushing me beyond my limit.”
Ninth,
This is my last,
Myself- I met myself.
I tensed up as I asked what we should do,
She smiled, lifted a hand, and cupped my cheek
She said,
“There’s nothing else to do but the thing you do best.”
I cried.
How am I to be the best at loving?
I want to.
Seriously.
First commandment,
A feline shall not trouble the pact for what it wants.
Thank you for reading! 🖤
The comments section is our safe space. Please tell me anything you want. Honest feedback to improve my writing will be greatly appreciated.
