Forgiveness Is Earned
Or is it?
I know I wrote about this the other day, but I want to talk more about this. I’m life, we usually have different types of people.
The people who forgive too much can become misunderstood and seen as being “walked all over”
There is other people who don’t forgive at all, this used to be me when I was younger. You had one chance, and if you blew it I struggled to forgive and forget.
But as I get older I have learned it’s important to be able to give people second chances, usually, I give them 2. But I believe that forgiving them is a trait that we should all have.
Peaceful forgiveness is a way to move on, not by becoming best friends again but just by agreeing that you forgive each other but are done with them.
I have had first-hand experience of seeing feuds going too far, never making up with people before they die, but once they are gone you begin to reflect on the time before the fallout, and how much you wish you could have made up.
Of course, this isn’t always the way, some people can do unforgivable things, but it’s about losing the hate built up inside for them and just not caring about them.
Can you forgive for the worst thing?
Yes you can, I have recently gotten into watching a lot of murderer documentaries, and seeing how the family reacts a couple of years later. There is a mix.
Some people have so much anger inside them and hate the person, while others don’t care but can not forgive. I can understand this and I’m sure it hasn’t happened to any of us to give our opinion.
There are some people who forgive them, they forgive them for the crime but never want to see them again. I’m unsure if I could do that but it’s good for them.
My experience
Through school I had a small time where I used to be with a girl, I would class her as a friend but then she became funny when new people joined who she connected more with.
The girls began to throw things at me, including chewing gum and other items, she went distant with me and we didn’t speak.
After her new friends got excluded, she came back to me and wanted me to forgive her, I acted like an idiot. She only turned out to be nice for a short period then went back mean.
She didn’t earn it at all. She just asked and young me said yes. I should have thought if she had done anything to earn the trust back.
Perhaps apologizing, standing up to others and the peer pressure to throw things at me, and spending time with me before asking to be my best friend again.
These few things I would look for again now, but honestly I don’t know if I would forgive someone like that again.
I feel as life comes at you, that you begin to forgive less and less, and that’s okay. It’s all about doing what you feel safe with and trying to avoid the hurt.
But if you have fallen out with someone, who you go way back with, and they are trying so hard to earn your forgiveness, ask yourself if the problem was really that bad.
Swallow your pride and forgive them, as you never know when in life, you might regret your decision.
If you were me, would you have forgiven that girl?
Thank you for reading :)
