FORGIVENESS
The Best Way to Revenge is Forgiveness
This should be the mother of all paradoxes
One of my most favourite poetic devices is paradox. Paradox makes wise men sound stupid for a while but eventually they sound as wise men that they are.
Some of my most topmost favourite football (soccer) clubs in Europe are Arsenal, Barcelona and Real Madrid. They have one thing in common even though they have diverse success stories in the World’s Number One game.
They have an unwritten footballing philosophy which are well understood by pundits, promoters, patrons, players and patronizers. The philosophical concept is “The best way to defend is to attack”.
Most times, these clubs tend not to bother how many goals they concede as to how many they could score. By so doing, their superior goals give them victory.
That background is crucial in order to bring this write-up to a better paradoxical platform. This is because without paradox, life becomes unsurprising and therefore boring.
Whenever someone offends you, several things are at stake. Your emotions are tensed. Your ego is challenged. Your personality is hurt. Your faith and integrity are tested.
It is often at such point that you are paradoxically most vulnerable. You are virtually humanly and or legally justified to pull the trigger.
The best form of revenge at that point is forgiveness. Does it make sense on a surface value? No, it does not.
Does it make sense after having taken a deep breath; thought and pondered over the general and particular facts and truths of all the applicable circumstances? Yes, it does.
It has been said by an ageless established authority:
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” — Alexander Pope
This personal story could be relevant here. During our first year in the university, we had a non-faculty course: Computer Programming.
One of the basic requirements for the subject was a calculator. I had just bought a scientific calculator to that effect.
One of my colleagues could not complete her assignments and had to go home with it. Unfortunately, it got spoiled. To worsen the matter, she returned it without letting me know what had happened.
Frankly, I was disappointed. I was furious. I was angry to the point that I wanted to give it to her in the hottest of terms as it were.
My greatest point of annoyance was the fact that she could not inform me. Accordingly, I had decided to pour out all my grievances, for lack of a stronger term.
On a second thought, however, I painstakingly decided not to seek vengeance. As a matter of fact, I acted as though the calculator was not spoiled.
Certainly, it never affected our relationship at all. I could not tell nevertheless if she was acutely aware of what she did.
Years later, I must confess that I had benefitted from the same person in cash or in kind, or both. If I have not gained in various ways such as: grants, gifts and items (from the same person), they are worth over one hundred times of the worth of the calculator.
Interestingly, we are still communicating as we speak. This is irrespective of the fact that decades have passed and we have been continents apart.
One striking lesson is instructive here. The best way to revenge is to forgive the offender whether it makes sense or not.
If the offence is really much difficult to forgive, so the benefit of the forgiveness is much significant to miss.
Thanks for reading.
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