“Untitled”

I must confess
I hate this mind of mine
All it does is cause stress
I’m tired of saying it’s fine

The OCD follows me
It defines who I am
It does so invisibly
Just wanna scream “god damn”

I rely on some drugs
Hope they hold the answer
Sweep problems under my rugs
Wish I had brain cancer

Knowledge is power they said
All I feel is pain
To the point I’m almost dead
What do I have to gain?

Is there a solution?
To my unusual predicament
Feels like mind pollution
I live my life ambivalent

I can’t live a normal life
Ignorance is bliss
Cognizance is strife
And I think of this

If I never learned math
Numbers wouldn’t stick in my head
If my mind didn’t show its wrath
Maybe I could sleep in my bed

If my mind didn’t race
I wouldn’t think thoughts at midnight
I could look at a mirror and see my face
And give up the life-long fight

If only my dreams made sense
Maybe I could change the world
My mind is so dense
In a swirl
It’s all nonsense