Dreams — Are you aiming too high?
Our dreams sadly often remain just that; dreams. So we continue to toil at the daily grind. But are we to blame? Have we simply set our goals too high?
I came up with a theory a few years back, relating to life, fulfilment, and sadly work (because our work for many of us unfortunately seems to define who we are, which I disagree with, but that’s a subject for another day).
The theory is this; you have three jobs. Namely…
— Your Actual Job —
What you do on a day-to-day basis, and what your contract and title says you are. E.g. Sales Assistant
— Your Aspirational Job —
What you could aim for in your current role, given the right opportunities on your career path. E.g. National Sales Director
— Your Dream Job —
Ignoring everything else, what you would love to do. E.g. Astronaut
I forget why I initially came up with the theory, but ultimately I used it mainly as an ice-breaker. I always found “What do you do?” a bit stale, whereas this is more entertaining, especially when you get to the dream job bit.
At the time I was working in tech, and jumping right to the fun part my answer for ‘Dream Job’ was ‘Writer’. Years passed, and that answer never wavered. When I finally decided it was now-or-never and made the leap (you can read here for more information on that landmark) I started living my dream.
The fact that I’d actually made it happen caused me to have a revelation; for years I’d dreamt of being a ‘Writer’, but that was it. I’d never thought ‘Successful Writer’, or ‘Rich Writer’, or ‘Famous Writer’. I’d only ever thought ‘Writer’…. And that’s what made it happen.
You hear a lot of ‘Aim high’, ‘Don’t set your sights low’, and ‘You can be anything you want to be’ floating around. There’s advice out there saying that by setting your goals high it gives you the motivation to attain them and drive you forward.
I’m not saying it’s wrong, but I will say that you can go too far. Much like I found recently that it’s possible to screw up your work-life balance by over-balancing on the life side of the equation (for more information you can find my conclusions here), I believe it’s also possible to mess up the pursuit of your dreams by putting them on too high a pedestal.
When you set your sights too high you start to perceive them as impossible; they cease to be inspiring, and instead become demotivational. Without realising, I’d aimed exactly where I needed to in order to achieve my dream. I’d made it attainable. It still required courage (abandoning a good career to pursue one where money is anything but guaranteed), and it was still hard, but it wasn’t far-fetched.
Now that I’ve achieved my dream, does my list need updating? Do I need to rework my Aspirational Job and my Dream Job? I’ve thought about it, but no. For me, my dream job is something I do because I love it. Any recognition I get for it for example is a plus, but it’s not a desire. I’m happy!
What now?
I’m going to be a little controversial, and speak out against motivational speakers and guidance counsellors everywhere, and say “Don’t dream high”; instead “Dream reasonable”. For a start, ignore fame, ignore riches, and just focus on what would make you happy. What would you love to do every day, even if it was in your free time, and paid you nothing, and no one really noticed you were doing it? Make that your dream, to do that as a job, full-time. It instantly stops feeling so far-fetched, and starts to feel within your grasp.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Have I completely lost it or does this make sense? Let me know!
Originally published at wordsbydavid.com on December 15, 2015.
About the Author: David Whitaker is a freelance writer, who spent years in the corporate rat race before deciding that life is too short to not spend it doing what you love! He now spends his time writing about life and trying to enjoy it as much as possible.
If you like what he writes, please like, share, or comment!
David’s personal blog is at wordsbydavid.com and you can follow him on twitter at @wordsbydavid or at https://au.linkedin.com/in/whitakerd
