64 Things People Who Double Space After A Period Probably Do

By Matthew Wiebe https://unsplash.com/photos/hnYMacpvKZY

I was born in 1983, meaning when I was in elementary school, computers existed but sucked more than the vacuum in the Cleveland Browns’ maintenance closet. If you grew up at around the same time, you probably remember keyboard class. We learned some useful things, like the home row. We also learned some terrible, life-ruining things, like double spacing after a period.

If you still do this, I understand that it’s what you were taught. And while you and I are busy understanding things, you should understand that you need to knock it off. It’s a design eyesore, it’s an inefficient extra keystroke, it wastes space, it hurts the environment and it makes puppies cry.

Some heroes are helping to change minds. The good folks at Medium, for example, simply don’t let us double space after a period. Go ahead and write a comment on this story. Try to double space. I’ll wait.

Here’s a list in the meantime.

People Who Double Space After A Period Probably…

1. Use a PC
2. Wash their clothes with cold water
3. Enable read receipts on their phone but forget to respond
4. Try to DVR Netflix shows
5. Do pushups at work
6. Make someone else shuffle the playing cards
7. Interrupt without apologizing
8. Breathe loudly enough while eating to make a passerby think they’re doing pushups at work
9. Recently Tebowed somebody
10. Think meme is pronounced “me me”
11. Loved Arrested Development Season 4
12. Loved House of Cards Season 3
13. Secretly love the smell of skunk spray
14. Get gas in dollar increments instead of letting it hit F
15. Wrote a check today
16. Never eat breakfast
17. Hate joy
18. Love Phoebe and Monica
19. Read every NFL Mock Draft they can get their hands on
20. Think black coffee really, truly tastes good
21. Loved Jurassic World
22. Think Chris Pratt is just ok
23. Wipe standing up
24. Hold a door for someone who’s far enough away that they feel like they need to run to compensate
25. Love conference calls
26. Wouldn’t tell you if you had something in your teeth
27. Get mad at you for offering them your seat
28. Eat the last donut
29. Love the DraftKings ads
30. Cut a quarter out of four donuts because they “just want a sampler”
31. Make a passenger parallel park for them
32. Still haven’t quite mastered how to order at a drive-thru
33. Have absolutely no clue how to pronounce “Chipotle”
34. Say “supposably”
35. Don’t get Settlers of Catan
36. Think Kyle is the best South Park character
37. Treat strangers better than loved ones
38. Yell “DUTCH OVEN” as they’re dutch ovening someone
39. Prefer Microsoft Word to Google Docs
40. Took two kickers in their fantasy football draft
41. Don’t like Robyn
42. Think “donut” is spelled “doughnut”
43. Leave a voicemail instead of a textmail
44. Absolutely love all jazz
45. Are pretty sure Kansas and Wyoming are the same thing
46. Think Mindy is the best part of The Mindy Project
47. Just stepped on the back of your shoe
48. Preferred the Zune
49. Are super stoked for the X-Games
50. Think it should be spelled X-Gamez
51. Have at least three DVDs that belong to former roommates
52. Tip 10%
53. Couldn’t get into both The Wire and Breaking Bad
54. Have no idea computers can run out of space
55. Pay for cable
56. Try so very hard not to eat their boogers
57. Finished Infinite Jest
58. Never started Catch-22
59. Soap their hands before they rinse them
60. Just flipped their sweat onto you from the treadmill next to yours
61. Said “I have such a sweet tooth” at least once this month
62. Put their hand in front of their mouth while talking and chewing
63. Watched Schindler’s List a second time
64. Are absolutely 100% positive it’s correct to double space after a period.

Stop making puppies cry. They are cute and cuddly and cool.

Single space after a period. Good day.

Update: I wrote a little something to all the people who cut a quarter out of four donuts because they just want a sampler:

An Alarming Number Of People Have No Clue How To Eat Donuts