7 Net Neutrality Letters You Can Send To Resistbot Today

Need words? I have some. Steal them.

The Little Courier That Could

Hang on. What is Resistbot?

Resistbot is an adorable automated superhero who makes it easy for Americans to contact their elected officials.

Nice! How do I talk to it?

Text “resist” to 50409. Resistbot will say “YO WHAT UP” and then ask for your name and mailing address. It’ll use this info to track down your representatives. Then you can tell it whom you want to contact and what you’d like to say. After you write your letter, Resistbot automatically faxes or mails the politician. It’s glorious.

Oh, I have to write a letter?

You do.

Hmmmm. That’s gonna be a problem. I don’t know what to say.

Mandatory: Be clear about why you’re writing. Don’t have typos.
Optional: Be friendly. Be concise.

But what, specifically, do I say about net neutrality?

Basically, that you are in favor of it and you do not want to see it die. Feel free to add an injection of your own personality to the letter and make it your own!

Or, you could just copy and paste one of these seven letters. That’s fine, too.

Option 1: Remind them ISPs are super lame.

Keep net neutrality. Do not kill it. Giving more power and money to ISPs is not a good idea, and supporting that idea shows a lack of integrity, common sense, and brain capacity. Happy Holidays.

Verdict: Recommended!

Option 1 is the exact letter I sent to my rep.

Option 2: Write a terrible poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you kill net neutrality
I’ll cry quite a bit, to be frank

Verdict: Not recommended!

Option 3: Write a threatening poem but maybe don’t threaten actual violence? I dunno. Your call.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you kill net neutrality
I will —

Yeah you know what? Forget Option 3. Bad idea.

Verdict: Not recommended!

Option 4: Quote Jesus Christ.

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” -Matthew 6:24
Do not succumb to greed. Keep net neutrality.

Verdict: Recommended!

Option 5: Quote Mahatma Gandhi.

“There is a sufficiency in the world for man’s need but not for man’s greed.” -Gandhi
Please find it in your heart to keep the Internet open. Do not kill net neutrality.

Verdict: Recommended!

Option 6: Be patriotic.

The Internet is for the good of the American people. I will fight to protect it, just as my forefathers fought to protect my freedoms centuries ago. Keep net neutrality alive. Do not sacrifice this country’s future for short-term gain.

Verdict: Recommended!

Option 7: Write a one sentence, all caps criticism.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

Verdict: Somehow, this is both recommended and not recommended!

TL;DR: PLEASE USE RESISTBOT TO TALK TO YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS.

This matters and your voice matters. Get it done.