BREAKING: Ad Agency Employee Drinks A Beer At Work

More on this as it develops.

Ben Moore, a talented copywriter at a successful mid-size advertising agency, was seen sauntering to the company kitchen at 3:45 p.m. this Friday. “Anyone want a beer?” he asked as he made his way to the fridge. “No,” said everyone. What a team player.

After he grabbed a beer, my sources say Moore asked no one in particular where the bottle opener was before he checked in the drawer it’s always in. And wouldn’t you know it, there it was. “Great perk of working here,” Moore said, blissfully unaware that he was a human cliché.

I’m also told Moore kicked up his feet, quite literally placed them atop his desk, upon returning to his seat. “It’s an IPA,” Moore said. “Stands for India Pale Ale.” “Mmm-hmmm,” replied the designer who was finally able to lay out the copy Moore gave to her just 15 minutes prior. “What a week,” Moore said. “CLIENTS. Am I right?”

At press time, Moore said he wasn’t sure what exactly his weekend has in store, but he likes it that way. “Just gonna go where the night takes me,” he said. “Don’t wanna overthink it.” He then took a pull from his frosty brew and immediately hid his face to conceal how much he actually hates IPAs.