DEAR PEOPLE WHO HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON MULTIPLE TIMES

Here are 30 more things I’m assuming you do.

One of my colleagues (hi, Camille Elizabeth!) told me she hits the snooze button six to eight times before she actually gets out of bed. Every day.

That is dumb and now I’m all mad. So here’s a cranky little list that will probably make you mad as well. This is all Camille’s fault. WAY TO GO, CAMILLE.

30 Things You, A Multiple Snoozer, Probably Do

1. Write checks at the grocery store
2. Text your significant other, who’s in another room, asking them to get you something
3. Browse Netflix without selecting anything
4. Constantly get passed on the highway
5. while driving in the left lane
6. and you fail to see why that’s bad.
7. Say “you too” when the server says “enjoy your meal”
8. Install the new TP roll with the paper in the back (note: you’re excused if you have cats or toddlers or toddler cats)
9. Get toast crumbs in the butter tub
10. and make zero effort to get them outta there.
11. Use a doggy stroller
12. Own a cat leash
13. Linger near the line to order food after you’ve already ordered
14. Stand near the door of the train when there are plenty of seats available and will you please just sit down already
15. Walk 3 abreast on the sidewalk
16. Walk around shoeless in the office
17. Request multiple ice cream samples
18. Close Facebook, open a new tab, and immediately visit Facebook again
19. Secretly haven’t finished a book in years
20. Finally choose a Netflix show, and of course it's that Friends episode you’ve seen 100 times already
21. Unlock your phone and stare at the home screen, totally unsure why you just did that
22. Don’t clear the microwave timer after stopping it early
23. Have read receipts enabled and forget to respond
24. Are blissfully unaware of your turn signals
25. Don’t mind when the plane takes forever to get to the gate after landing
26. Just friggin stand there on the moving walkway
27. Eat slowly, but make up for it by chewing loudly
28. Have recently enjoyed an entire regular season baseball game on TV in its entirety
29. Your favorite Dave Matthews song is any live version of Two Step that lasts over 45 minutes
30. Are a few minutes late to absolutely everything