“Good Vibes Only” and 9 more phrases that need to get off my plane
More like “Bad Vibes Sometimes.”
It’s Monday, it’s snowing sideways, and I’m cranky. That’s right, friends! It’s time for another good old fashioned rant that will alienate people who used to enjoy what I write. It’s the #1 reason I’m on Medium.
1. good vibes only
This is not possible, my friend. Life is positively filled with bad vibes. And here’s an exciting secret: Working through the bad stuff is what makes the good stuff even more beautiful. So stop saying this and start saying “bad vibes sometimes.”
You guys, Twitter expanded to 280 characters. You don’t need to do these anymore. If I wanted to read for 3 hours I’d open the latest Brandon Sanderson.
One describes my face and the other describes that feel. I hate them both equally.
When you write ^THIS, you’re telling the world “I vociferously agree with this person, but I’m too lazy and inarticulate to conjure any words of my own on the matter.” In an ironic twist, your brain-dead all-caps endorsement effortlessly invalidates the opinions you so strongly agree with.
6. SUNDAY FUNDAY
Just because words share all but one letter does not mean you have to say them.
Peak apathy right here. Used liberally by people who consume and critique things other people make instead of being bold and brave and creating something of their own.
No. That is not how you spell Friday. Go to your room.
My pledge: Whenever I see someone say FRIYAY, I am going to say MONYAY three days later.
Just go back to saying “cool” instead. That word will never go out of style.
Fun fact: For a week or so, I sincerely tried to add this to my vernacular. But whenever I said it, people thought I was saying it for laughs. Uhhh…yup! I was definitely cracking a joke and absolutely not trying to say a thing all them cool millennials say.
10. it me
Can you just tell me what this means? I’m so old and scared.