Slack Is Stuck Because Of That Lazy Name

The Little Disruptor That Could is officially punching above its weight.

Go ahead. Sell these people on a service called Slack.

Scenario!

You work at a company with over 1,000 employees in multiple countries. Juggling projects is a headache, and the company’s current combo of email and Google+ is not cutting it. So, the global leadership team has tasked YOU with finding a solution. You will present viable productivity options to them. Congratulations! This is a big deal for you.

Before the meeting starts, I should tell you a bit about that leadership team.

• They’re fluent in email and yelling. They haven’t touched Google+ or any of the various email killers, and they absolutely don’t want to.
• They’re old and set in their ways. They know nothing about any of the options you’re about to pitch, and there will be a massive learning curve for them no matter which one is chosen.
• They have Facebook accounts and access them daily.
• They use PCs.
• They are professional and experienced. They take themselves seriously and expect their employees to do the same.
• They get up at 4:30 a.m. (on PURPOSE!) and do their most productive work of the day before you’ve stopped checking your notifications.
• They haven’t laughed at work since the Clinton administration.

In your pitch, you identify three potential solutions for them:

Microsoft Teams, Workplace by Facebook, and Slack.

Which option do they throw out immediately?

Slack’s name is broken.

I love Slack. I use it every Monday through Friday. I also have two kids under 3 and I wear denim to work every day. That office, by the way, is in Chicago’s west suburbs and staffs 13 people. My point? My colleagues and I are not the daily active users Slack HQ wants anymore. They want whales.

To continue to grow, as this article by Nivas Ravichandran summed up, Slack needs to become the platform massive global enterprises use.

Dear Slack, Get over Microsoft. You have a bigger problem.

As long as they’re called Slack, it will never happen.

What Slack Says Slack Means

In this post from two years ago, Adam Lang identifies “slack” thusly:

Slack, in project management, refers to the amount of time a delay could take from a task without causing subsequent problems. So if your current assignment is held up because you’re waiting on someone to get back to you, but you have a month to finish, you could say, “I have at least a few weeks of slack, so waiting another day won’t be a major problem.” It implies flexibility in the project schedule, a positive.

Sounds great, right? There’s a problem.

What Scary Board Rooms Think Slack Means

Procrastination. Laziness. Passing your work off to someone else. Hurting colleagues and the bottom line. Put simply, slacking off. You could always try to sell leadership on what Slack says Slack means, which I’m sure they’ll appreciate.

I believe Slack will never be taken seriously at the enterprise level. To survive, I’d wager they’ll be sold to a giant. Google, Amazon, or even Microsoft could all scoop it, according to this Business Insider article. Once that happens, I’m curious if the Slack name will be kept or if it will change. My money is on the latter.

Now, because I’m a copywriter and I can’t help it…

10 Alternate Name Options For Slack

1. A to Z (Viable for both Amazon and Alphabet Inc.)
2. ROI
3. KPI (Which stands for Key Productivity Indicator, obviously)
4. Profetti (Mashup of professional and confetti. This name will be rejected but it shows our creative side.)
5. Sidekick
6. Wingman
7. Hustle (Too close to Hustler. Rejected.)
8. Co Lab
9. Google+
10. Microsoft Teams

The Ironic Fate Of Slack

Slack is a remarkable thing. It makes work more fun, it’s beloved and widely adopted, and its design origin story is still one of my favorite Medium pieces ever. That contagious attitude, color, and personality got it this far. But the name that got it in the conversation with Facebook and Microsoft is the one that will now doom it.