Stop Asking People “So, What’s New?”

Here are 11 better questions.

Good work making an attempt at small talk. It’s not easy.

Now for constructive criticism.

“What’s new?” is equivalent to asking kids how their day was. Common replies include “nothin,” “not much,” and of course, a hasty moonwalk out of the room.

It makes sense. The infinite possibilities are brain-breaking, and the conversation ends before it could begin.

Here you go. Highlight this and give me that coveted extra notification:

Just because everyone does it does not mean it’s a good idea.

In fact, the opposite is probably true. If everyone does it, it probably sucks. As evidence, I present college loans, buying cars brand new, and La Croix.

Look, I screw small talk up all the time, too. It’s easy to autopilot this stuff. But if you give a little extra effort, you’ll find that your relationships at work and at home will blossom.

MEANINGFUL QUESTIONS TO ASK NEXT TIME:

1. What was the best part of your weekend?

2. What was the worst part of your weekend?

3. Trump, huh?

4. Would you rather have the ability to spot every lie, or never be lied to again?

5. What movie should I watch next?

6. Why do you reheat fish in the microwave?

7. How old were you when you lost your sense of smell?

8. Are you aware other people work here too?

9. How would you like it if, every day at around lunchtime, I walked past your desk and cropdusted you until you dry heaved?

10. Do you even understand what I’m capable of?

11. Brutal weather today, right?