Stop Saying “Backslash” While Reading URLs, You Nincompoop

It’s wrong and it takes longer.

https://xkcd.com/1638/

Fun fact: those slashy symbols in URLs are called slashes. Not backslashes.

So! Here’s the deal. Every time I hear someone say backslash when reading a URL, I will celebrate that incredible inefficiency by doing something inefficient in my own life. I don’t want to do this, but I’m willing to be the bad guy if it means the world stops this disgusting habit.

The following are mildly infuriating and inefficient things I will do whenever I hear someone say backslash while reading a URL.

1

The Tech Novice

When I’m in front of you at the grocery store, I will let the chip reader beep angrily at me until the cashier has to tell me I can remove my credit card.

2

The Deep Thinker

At Costco, I will park my cart at the $5 rotisserie chickens and stare at the ceiling for a weird amount of time.

3

The Gentleman, Part I

When I arrive at a 4-way stop at the same time as you, I will signal that you can go. At the same time, I will advance my car two feet, and the two of us will then be locked in a wonderfully awkward wave-advance-apologize dance until you finally floor it and give me the finger.

4

The Tardy

When I arrive late to a movie, I will aggressively whisper the names of people in my party for the remainder of the first act. Yes, it would have been a swell idea to text and ask where they were sitting. No, I did not do that.

5

The Leech

I will ask you for your wifi password even though I have it already. It’s like 32 characters and it’s written on a Post-It. You don’t know where it is, and it will take 10 minutes to find.

6

The Gentleman, Part II

I will hold the door for you when you’re a long enough distance away that you feel like you need to run to compensate.

7

The One-Downer

If we get onto an elevator at the same time and we’re going up, I will let you press your button first, then I’ll press the button that’s one floor below yours.

8

The Oblivious One-Downer

I will not realize we have arrived at my floor until the door begins to close. I will catch the door and finally exit.

9

The Hijacker

I’ll stop by your desk, ask a question, then ask if I can drive. Upon sitting in your chair, I will adjust it until it suits my preferences. I’ll also take far too long to adjust to your mouse speed and page scrolling orientation.

10

The Reorganizer

I’ll find your lunch in the fridge and move it behind that Pyrex that’s been in our office longer than the intern. And I’ll assign a letter grade to how appetizing the meal looks.

Call To Action

Stop saying backslash while reading URLs, you nincompoop. You’ll gain accuracy and efficiency. I value our friendship and I don’t want the two of us to become mortal enemies. The ball is in your court.

Hmm. My LTE is acting up. Can I get your wifi password?

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