What does an elephant say?

You know the noise. But what’s the word?

You’re probably making an elephant noise in your head right now. But what’s the word for that noise? Cat says meow. Cow says moo. Elephant says…what?

Here’s why I’m asking.

There is a collection of animated nursery rhymes on Netflix called Little Baby Bum. The songs completely captivate my toddler. The music and animation are even more cheesy and adorable than you can imagine.

However, at roughly the 38-minute mark of the 1-hour program, something happens. Something bad. I have transcribed the moment to the best of my recollection. It is written below for your convenience.

Singer: The bear says “Growl!”

Bear: Growl. Growl. Growl!

Singer: The lion says “Roar!”

Lion: Roar. Roar. Roar!

Singer: The elephant says “Pawoo!”

Elephant: Pawoo. Pawoo. Pawoo!

Me: [suddenly locked in] Hang on. What did that say?

Toddler: Effent, Dada!

Me: Yep, that’s an elephant. Good job, bud.

Singer: Growl. Roar. Pawoo!

Me: WHAT. Are you hearing this right now?

Toddler: [Stares at the screen. Transfixed and unblinking. Completely ignoring me.]

Me: That is NOT the noise an elephant makes. I’m so sorry you’re being fed this propaganda. Granted, I’m not sure what the word actually is, but I know for a fact it’s not “Pawoo.”

Toddler: Effent, Dada!

Elephant: Pawoo. Pawoo. Pawoo!

Me: GAHHHH I CAN’T TAKE IT. Forgive me, my boy. I must do something about this. By venting on Medium.

So here we are. Because I don’t actually know what sound an elephant makes, I did what I always do when I don’t have an answer: I forced people to collaborate with me. There’s no teamwork like mandatory teamwork! Together, we will find the answer. And I will take credit for it. COLLABORATION!

Deliberation

On Twitter and Facebook, I asked 22 people “My kid loves this nursery rhyme movie on Netflix. It tells him an elephant says “pawoo.” This can’t possibly be right. So, what do you think an elephant says?”

Here are 22 responses.

jdot: Uh. “Pvvvvvvvt!”

Kira Hug: Definitely NOT pawoo. There’s no power in that. More like “Ahhhhhhh Pahhhh Eurrrrrrrrrr Ahhhhhhh Mahhhhh.”

Cole Kennedy: Oh my goodness. That is wrong. I can phonetically make the sound but I have no idea how to spell it. It’s like the noise you make when you’re blowing up balloons and after like ten you just let one loose and it fart whistles at your face. Pursed lips trying to blow out, y’know?

Me: I’m tracking. Like a super high-pitched “PFFFF.”

Cole: Yeah. “Pppfffttteeee.”

Candice Caldwell: My six-year-old says “It trumpets.” She also made the noise, which didn’t sound anything like pawoo. Now she’s rolling her eyes. I don’t think I have a name for the sound other than trumpets.

kelly catchpole: oh i have thought long and hard about this so you have indeed come to the right place. an elephant says “hneeeeee, hneeee.”

Emily Shearon: that’s tough. I just don’t see the P. I don’t see the lips…the sound emanates from deeper. That’s hard to write. Nice challenge you’ve given yourself. I would say “har-oooo.”

Marc Battaglia: “Aroooooouhhh.”

Me: Wow, you had that one locked and loaded. Most confident answer yet.

Marc: Hey, I’ve got kids.

Scott Pettit: Elephants don’t say anything. They trumpet. So you have to verbally interpret a trumpeting sound. “Pawoooo” isn’t too bad, actually. Are you getting paid to ask this question?

Emily Friedel: I just googled it and it looks like others have grappled with this and few have come up with satisfactory answers. I think “pfffff” totally works. I’ll probably be thinking about how to write an elephant sound all day now.

Josh Spilker: “brrruuummmm”

Sharon Heil: My sister says an elephant says “Get off my trunk.” I say “Nuh-hooooo.”

Lon Shapiro: I have no idea how to spell out the trumpet sound an elephant makes. In French, it’s “breeeeeee.”

Savanna D'Amato: Elephants are much more majestic than that. Dear Gawd. It’s uncanny you mention elephants, though. They’re my favorite animals. They’re amazing. And they definitely don’t make that sound; I almost feel they’re soundless.

Brent G. Trotter: Hmmm. That’s tough. Never tried to spell it. It’s like a trumpet… So, “phfnnnnn.”

doug carter: Wow, what DOES an elephant say? “Don’t shoot. I’m adorable.” I have no idea what an elephant says.

Claudine Guertin-Ceric: I initially thought this question was the setup for a punchline. Welp, if I had to make a word for it, I think an elephant says, “muroo.” Very loudly.

Mike Altier: “peanuts — bay-Ay-ahhh! — a a ahhh — sayahh — dayahhhann — bababablAAAM (trumpeted quickly) — badadadaaan — waaaaaaayahh — payaaaaannnn — pwaaaaannnn”

Kiera Abbamonte: Hmmmm… I guess I would say something more along the lines of “poo-woo” or “boo-woo”

Ernio Hernandez: I know no onomatopoeic way to write what an elephant says. When we were teaching our daughter animal sounds, we always made the trumpeted sound of an elephant by forcing air through tightened lips. (Which she of course copied as adorable as you’d imagine.) I wouldn’t begin to know which consonants to throw together to represent that.

Bill Hinchen: Pawoo? Pawoo?! What is this madness?! Elephants obviously go “bahruuuuuuhhhhaaaaa” [abbreviate onomatopoeia to specific copy restraints]. This also has the science stamp of approval (probably). “Pawoo”… crazy.

Paul Malan: I wish every question was like this question. I saw a German book for kids one time that used “töröö”, which would be like “tuh-roo” I guess.

Pete Shelly: Onomatopoetically, I’m not sure. But there’s the thing on the iPhone keyboard that will type what you say, so I’m gonna try that.

Now. I’ve got a clear sound in my head, and I’m going to try making it, but I can’t guarantee how accurately I’ll be able to do it. Here goes.

“You.”

Lol. Stupid microphone. That’s not the noise I made. I’ll get a better answer for you when I’m not standing in the woods. But my first thought is many more Es than in pawoo.

Me: Wait. You spoke an elephant sound into the phone and it spat “You” back at you?

Pete: Yes. This was a terribly disappointing experiment.

Conclusion

I don’t know, man. Whatever word a trumpet says is what an elephant says. “Pawoo” still upsets me, but it’s concise, easy to pronounce, and the “ooo” sound is correct. It could be the best we can do. So, Little Baby Bum, I suppose you’re off the hook. But maybe you should have simply given the elephant a trumpet to play instead of making that poor thing say “Pawoo” in front of all of its animal friends. So embarrassing.

I also told my dad about this experiment, and he immediately said, “Oh, yeah. That toot noise.” Color me shocked that not one of us suggested “Toot” as the answer. Maybe that’s what an elephant says. Or “Twoot.”

Elephants: wise, kind, trolling us all.