Jones&Jones INC. (Ed. 2014)
Wonder how to better speak to me?
Well just follow these easy, simple rules and you’ll always be capable of understanding just how “fab” I am.
- My life is always in a crisis.
I go to school full time at a top 100 undergraduate university, work two jobs, intern and it isn’t easy. So when I say “ my life is in a crisis,” know that it is. Either a paper or painting is due, I’m running late to a meeting or I forgot to do something. I’m like the damsel in distress of life.
2. “Shindoowee” or “Shindoowii”
( noun) meaning a gathering between friends that result in a jolly good time, also known as a turn up.
(noun) a turn up with your homies that’s epic.
3. It’s handled.
When I truly have a goal that has been set and my eye is on the prize. Move out of the way honey, because I’m going for it, no matter how far/ long the distance is.
- Disclaimer: this usually involves a phone call or social media.
I constantly impersonate the James Brown “HEY” and use it as both a greeting, interjection and reaction.
This too. ** ( contains explicit content- listen with headphones)
5. Cursing always trumps.
In my life, cursing always trumps. Statistically it is proven to relive stress, lower blood pressure and in certain countries is a criminal offence. Thank God for the First Amendment.
*** Dislaimer: If I curse agressively, take three steps back dammit.
6. A, I, then U.
I tend to use the pronoun I a lot. Mainly because I am an interpersonal learner that learns by my experiences with others around me. Also Arthur comes first, always. Not to say you don’t matter, I just matter more.
7. Selfies ARE a form of ART. ( Literally)
If I say, “ let’s take a selfie,” or “ I’m trying to get good lighting.” Move out of the way, stop time for a few moments and lets continue on.
My selfie game has and will always be strong.
8. I’m ALWAYS speeding.
MPH- 65–70 only.
WPM ( type)- 70
WPM ( orally)- ∞
**Disclaimer: When I’m walking and talking, you probably won’t be able to understand a word out of my mouth. This also can be escalated when emotional.
9. “Give me 20 minutes.”
If I ever say this, it either means, I will need MORE than 20 minutes ( 67% of the time) which would probably piss you off OR I would need less than 20 minutes (33% of the time) which results in me impressing you.
10. Shade-y, Shadey, Shadie
( noun) acting of shade.
Derivative of the noun, shade, from shadus, meaning one who insults others with no regrets.
***Disclaimer do not get this confused with the word , shades, meaning sunglasses.
I will throw some major shade and you won’t recognize it until a few moments later. Some also think this is where I can be the most “stereotypical.”
OTHER FAVORITES include.
- Fix it Jesus.
2. Lawwd Jesus / HAVE MERCY
3. “ Giving me life”
All in all, one deposits, one takes away.
5. YOU SHARP!!!