We Don’t Know What It Is, So It’s Definitely Balloons and Not Aliens, or the Opposite

How to identify and shoot down people with ungrounded hot takes

By MARTIN REZNY

Wow, I mean, wow. It appears that American fighter jets had just shot down four flying objects over North America over the course of a fortnight. The first of them allegedly was a Chinese spy balloon, and the other three apparently remain unidentified and unrecovered. What? How? What?

Beyond this huge amount of extremely descriptive information, all that the world was told is that the shapes involved included octagonal and cylindrical; that at least one of the objects was metallic; that the objects were up to small car-sized; that they were flying so high they could pose a hazard to air traffic; and that one of them was missed by a missile.

To do the opposite of putting everyone at ease, Biden said nothing about the incidents, while one NORAD general made a point to state that he’s calling them “objects” and not “balloons” for a reason. Not to mention how weird it is to say exactly what the first one was and recover it immediately, but then not do any of that for the other three objects. Once again, what?

I looked for the takes of the most high-profile UFO-adjacent people with the best sources to get some clarity, and what I learned was that the ex-UFO spy Luis Elizondo says it is low-level spying tech; the UFO historian Richard Dolan is convinced that we wouldn’t be able to shoot down an actual UFO, so it probably was a false flag distraction related to the war in Ukraine that the west is losing; and the UFO journalist Jeremy Corbell seems to be pretty sure it actually was genuine UFOs. Thanks guys, that was very helpful.

I did oversimplify their positions a little bit, they did try to use nuanced language and not fully commit to anything, but that just makes it even harder to gain any useful perspective on the situation. As does the U.S. government stalling and scientists being sure that only balloons exist.

Since apparently everyone is allowed to have an unfounded take, here’s mine. It’s not fact-based (as there aren’t enough of those), but it is logic-based (even lying, incompetence, and miracles still have to make some sort of sense). Let’s go through the necessary implications of the little we know.

• Since the U.S. government had no trouble saying the first object was a Chinese spy balloon, Occam’s Razor says the remaining objects are not just Chinese spy balloons or something more benign.
• Since the U.S. government had no trouble recovering the first object instantly, they either already had the other objects recovered and are denying it (to avoid having to say what was recovered to prevent a panic or embarrassment, or to avoid admitting that they still can’t identify them), or they decided to not recover them, despite being able to (for any of the already stated reasons, or because the wreckage mysteriously disappeared, or perhaps because they were intimidated or bribed).
• None of the above-stated possibilities are good, so the public should keep demanding a better answer until it gets one. The government very likely seems to be waiting for people to lose attention.
• The available possibilities are not just balloons or aliens, btw, it could be a case of the president and the official military structure acting rashly and shooting down hardware belonging to an unacknowledged, proprietary, beyond-top-secret-level group. Hardware that could represent the most advanced U.S. tech, possibly, but not necessarily, reverse-engineered from something alien. So, a secret breakthrough.
• Alternatively, and less magically, it could be a yet another unacknowledged program of Americans spying on Americans, or otherwise interfering with them, perhaps using fancy balloons.
• With all that said, balloons shouldn’t be able to avoid hellfire missiles. That’s the most interesting known fact here, in my opinion. It’s a bit like in one Soviet-era joke:

“Enemy forces attacked one of our tractors. The tractor returned fire, destroyed all enemy combatants, and then flew back to the base.”

Of course, the known facts could all be fabricated or twisted. One cannot recover an object that wasn’t actually shot down, for example. It’s important to keep in mind that this could all be lies, much like what crashed in Roswell was a weather balloon until it was a spy balloon, and who knows what we will have known it never wasn’t decades from now.

For now, I think it’s reasonable to assume at least that some objects were shot down, but beyond that, I suggest skepticism. To explain to skeptics what I mean by skepticism, it means assuming nothing, being suspicious of actors who have a whole modern history of keeping secrets and lying to the public, and not ruling out any possibility that the evidence isn’t ruling out.

Let’s hope that the next news isn’t about a balloon that shoots down jets.