Art therapy mourning and me

(Depression, adjustment, and joy)

Do you like the word appropriate? I haven’t liked it for some time now. I tried to be appropriate for many years. I didn’t make it. I wanted to fit in with others, with the situation, with someone, with something. By fitting in I was disappearing.

I was afraid to express myself. I was afraid to speak honestly. Of course, honesty will always have its limits. However, I was afraid of what I was thinking and how much it didn’t fit into the puzzle around me.

I slowly started looking for a way to express what I feel and think. I started writing by accident. And that was the first time I expressed myself through words. I took part in a course conducted on one of the English blogs I read. For a month we wrote about everything in English.

This month turned out to be beneficial for me. A stream of words started inside me, sometimes it was a rushing river, sometimes it turned into a waterfall, and then it turned into a small stream again. The words started flowing and they continue to flow to this day. It was the first time I heard good words about my writing.

Depression. I know what it means. She was with me for many years, but I didn’t fully realize it. I was functioning. I worked. I felt a lot of sadness, but I thought it had to be that way. I was so reflective.

Writing freed me from myself. It freed me from the feeling of lack of agency in life. It taught me that I can do more. It gave me a good experience that I can always refer to in bad moments. Then I returned to the path of life.

I started thinking about the impact of art therapy on a person’s life. A man like me. A man lost. A man suspended. The frozen man. A sad man.

It worked for me. Art therapy releases my hidden resources, gives me space to express myself, allows me to recognize myself as an important element, gives me strength, and sets directions previously unknown.

I have been singing in choirs for years. Exactly from the age of 15. It’s also a great experience of how a group and music allow you to last in life. If it weren’t for that, things might have been different for me.

My singing and writing show me that art therapy is not one specific medicine. At different stages of life, we may receive something different from her. Art therapy is multidimensional. Trying different artistic expressions allows you to find your way. Singing, dancing, writing, reading. For me, they are like life-giving water that I have to drink every day. I already know that.

Art therapy also allows you to find joy in life. I’m discovering it slowly. Depression can cover it completely. Fortunately, joy does not take offense at us for the sadness we previously carried within us.

Art therapy is like a spark that ignites a bigger fire within us. We feel warmer, better, happier, more colorful. He gives us light. Our needs are recognized as important by ourselves. Through art therapy, we take care of ourselves. We are healing.

Art therapy will not cure us of depression, but without it, it is difficult to equip ourselves with the means of survival to continue in life, even after depression.

Let’s take care of ourselves through art therapy. Let’s toast to our mistakes and keep creating. Life is not about becoming suitable or fitting in. The more colors we find in ourselves, the better it will be. The more colors and shades, the more beautiful the world.

And let us look for joy in ourselves, even its small manifestations. This is often proof that we are going in the right direction.