Guilty
I feel guilty.
I should be working on my first book (a book about leadership) but another story has caught my attention.
My energy, which partly thrives on research, found me going down a massive rabbit hole, digging deeper to find more and more details about a certain family of ill repute — or maybe just misunderstood and mislabeled. There were historical newspapers, my mother’s village history books, genealogy sites and personal stories which began to reveal a tale of unfortunate characters and situations.
Then an idea for a book came to me.
The fictionalization of a true story.
I began writing out the chronology, using pieces of information scattered throughout the newspaper articles I found. It had a richness to its layers. Sadness and revenge are mixed throughout.
Then, all of a sudden, the story plot comes to me on a Sunday morning, following a conversation with my husband.
I now know where it will begin and how it will end along with what will be said in between. I’ve identified the main character and the humanistic voice it will take. I can already picture the epilogue of hope, painting a vision for a future we have not yet met, but desperately need.
As a piece of fiction, I can make plausible assumptions, while weaving the facts around fiction.
I can see it all now.
But wait!
I am temporarily paralyzed. What should I do?
There is still work to be done on my first book. I have a draft and a workbook underway. There is no fiction here or plausible assumptions.
I just can’t stop thinking about this other story line.
Is there something wrong with me?
The short answer is “no”.
My author community with Siretona Creative understood and quickly gave me permission to do both.
I am not Louis Wain, Nicola MacCameron told me, who can use both hands to paint different pictures of cats at the same time — I can’t write two books at the same time.
I can use my passionate pen for one book, and then switch to the other in the pauses.
Each of my projects needs time to ebb and flow.
So I will follow that flow.
Travis Williams told me each of my projects can also inform the other, as if maybe dancing in a tango. Each movement influencing the other.
Am I still feeling guilty?
Not at all.
Building on 25 years working in a large, complex organization, Tammy Brimner is a leadership consultant and coach with a passion for leadership development and improved organizational culture. Tammy is a Certified Organizational Coach and a professional photographer. She is also a writer, singer/songwriter, a fair weather golfer, a cyclist and an amateur yogi.
Follow Tammy on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-brimner
