It’s Crap
My first book manuscript is now in its first draft. Not the final draft. The very first draft.
I got to a certain point where I was done for now. I needed an external eye.
Was I heading in the right direction?
Did it convey the intended feeling?
Did it even make sense?
I asked Siretona Creative if they would take a look at this first draft.
They call this an editorial assessment. They would help me answer those questions plus way more.
I downloaded my Google Doc into Microsoft Word, cleaned it up and sent it off.
Then I let go.
I began working voraciously on Book #2. It’s coming along nicely.
I try not to think about Book #1, but those little wiggly words creep into my mind every once in a while — you know, the ones which tap you on the shoulder and whisper forget-me-nots in your ear:
They’ll love me.
They’ll love me not.
They’ll love me.
They’ll love me not.
Then I saw an interesting quote in an Instagram story from @melissa_wright_author shared by Colleen Taylor McCubbin.
My takeaway was simply that my first book was going to be crap and I needed to keep honing my craft.
I would just have to accept the fact my first book is crap.
Ouch!
Then I reread that quote a few days later.
This is what Melissa Wright actually said:
“I think it’s important to remember while books may feel like magic, writing is a skill that has to be learned. Your first book isn’t going to be perfect, and that’s okay.”
I laughed, with a giant dose of cringe.
How did I get from “not perfect” to “crap”?
I clearly haven’t killed my hyper achiever saboteur like I thought I did; I only woke it up from its deep slumber.
So now I have more work to do though — not just on my writing, but on myself. I was raised to be a perfectionist and I have been rebelling ever since. I guess I need to rebel a little bit harder, it seems.
But enough of that — I need to get back to Book #1.
As I await news from my editor, I am keeping my expectations low right now like a good pessimist — to help manage the disappointment which is sure to come when I hear back from my editor.
In the meantime, I will sharpen my pencil in anticipation of the rewrite and I will continue to...
“Work, work, work,” Melissa Wright stated, “because every word teaches you to be a better writer.”
Maybe, with the help of my editor and my amazing Nestbuilder author community, my first book will rise above the crap and there will be beauty in its imperfection.
Building on 25 years working in a large, complex organization, Tammy Brimner is a leadership consultant and coach with a passion for leadership development and improved organizational culture. Tammy is a Certified Organizational Coach and a professional photographer. She is also a writer, an aspiring author, singer/songwriter, a fair weather golfer, a cyclist and an amateur yogi.
Follow Tammy on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-brimner
