Show Me
“Allen panicked,” I wrote.
Wait.
What was it I had read in The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith?
“To hook me, you must display how it moved you, honouring the great journalism tradition: “Show, don’t tell.” Don’t tell me it was sad; show me how sadness looks, and let me do the math.” (p. 51)
Don’t tell me.
Show me.
OK. Got it.
This is not to be confused with our kindergarten exercises of show and tell. That was a whole other time. A whole other ball game.
So how should I show you that Allen panicked?
Where should I start?
I took the easy way out and searched online and found this gem:
“…think about what it feels like to panic — the hyperventilating, the frenzied, disjointed thoughts as the mind zips from one unrelated thought to another, cold sweats and clammy hands, the pounding heart, eyes widening in terror, flicking from side to side as they search for an escape route, Feet feeling as though they’re welded to the floor, or alternatively, getting ready to run as adrenaline surges through the body, getting ready for fight or flight.”
(Source: https://www.writingforums.org/threads/how-do-you-write-a-sense-of-panic-within-a-character.158729/)
I can now edit my tell:
“Allen feels his mouth go dry but his hands are feeling clammy all of a sudden. He is pretty sure his heart is going to jump right out of his chest.”
Can you do the math? I hope so.
From now on, I will be keeping a close eye out for more of my tells moving forward.
Get ready for the show :)
Building on 25 years working in a large, complex organization, Tammy Brimner is a leadership consultant and coach with a passion for leadership development and improved organizational culture. Tammy is a Certified Organizational Coach and a professional photographer. She is also a writer, an aspiring author, singer/songwriter, a fair weather golfer, a cyclist and an amateur yogi.
Follow Tammy on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-brimner
