On “The Bachelor Watches ‘The Bachelor’” by Jacob Saenz
Click here to read the poem.
The poem “The Bachelor Watches the Bachelor” by Jacob Saenz substantially shows self-hatred and self-loathing as the theme. The poem explains the comparison between the bachelor and men in real life and how the difference between them can affect, how men look at themselves in the real world.
Men watching The Bachelor brings out the worst in there self esteem. By comparing themselves to the suitor on the TV show they have to reflect on their lives and where there lives are heading. For example, “I am a farmer who lives alone in a loft & not a lowly office worker who live w/a roommate…” After watching this show the man starts to focus on all his insecurities. Such as, the way he lives, how he looks, and who he lives with. This show is an abolishment of all self esteem. The poem relates how men feel after watching this show. They give up on finding someone to love them, they feel like they can’t be loved. This self portrayal/picture of himself that he has in his mind is one of self loathing. He is in denial of the fact that he cannot find someone to fall in love with him, like the men do on the bachelor. He focuses on how he looks in the public and not what he thinks of himself. Constantly micro focused on how he can better himself in the public eyes.
Secondly, after reading the poem you can tell that the perspective that men have on women change. They see them as people who demand that fancy lifestyle and strive to have a guy like that. Many people in the real world don’t have that money and don’t live up to those expectations. The men start to realize that they will never be good enough for the women and they doubt themselves. Self hatred is something that illuminates in this poem. With the expectations of being something that these men are not, they have to reflect on their lives and end up realizing they are nothing more than unsuccessful people who don’t have a shot with any women. For example, after reading this, you can realize that this man’s self esteem is low and just compares himself to any other male, ruining his chance at finding his own happiness. When it states, “ The show ends & I rise from the couch and walk into the kitchen. On bended knee,I reach for a bottle of beer deep in the back of the fridge, pop the top like a question & take a swig, cold & crisp once it hits my full lips.” The narrator has lost all self confidence leaving him thinking that lying on a coach with dark blue and black circle underneath his eyes, depending on a bottle of beer to bring him back to life. He has taken all that self loathing and has convinced himself he will never be good enough. He believes that a bottle a day will keep the pain away. This shows how self hatred comes out in any male species, by always comparing themselves to other males.
Furthermore, in some cases men just realized without even trying that they can never care about a girl who cares more about money. Without even meeting the person they put this image into there head that this girl, with the way she looks, that all she is going to care about is the money. When it says “ In real life, my dates consist of dinner at Burger King where we dine on chicken, fries & don paper crowns for a royal feel.” Again comparing himself to the bachelor he realizes that the girl is going to want a fancy date with expensive wine and a live orchestra, and all he can give her is burger. Setting an expectation already that he is way less then this girl is going to want. Already doubting himself he put in a negative mindset making him hate himself even more for not having the money, that apparently, in his mind, all girls need. As much as this show conveys the good life and how everything is for the rich and famous, it also shows how in one day everything can go from good to bad. The Bachelor gets to choose which girls he wants to stay and get to know more and which girls he has no connections with and sends home. The main person conveyed in this poem can’t even make a human connection or sustain a normal/healthy relationship because they way he views himself. He tries to compare himself to the characters in T.V shows, more than focusing on the present. Maybe he is so obsessed because there is no one in his life he can compare himself to, because he has no one. The way that he compares himself to people he doesn’t even know is absurd. He doesn’t know how to live in the present. Missing the best parts of his life right now. In the end he is going to lower his self esteem more and more everyday, comparing himself to a person who is being paid to make a good T.V show.
Overall, the purpose of the poem is to show how reality tv shows project perfect girls and low life males who are running from a generation rising. It is setting uncontrollably high standards for anyone trying to grow up in the world. No one can express themselves when they are constantly being judged. At the end of these intriguing two months he will be choose the women that he feels would fit his lifestyle and who he has had the most connection with. He will purpose not knowing the girl very well and in the end expect that life will be the exact same when they go home. When you take away all the materialistic things in your life, you realize that the one thing that truly counts is how you view yourself, and feeling good about yourself no matter what.
My soul purpose of writing about this poem was to find out what other people thought of this show, when I have liked it for so many years. After reading through this poem I realized a new side of the story and how this show affected some people. I used that question in my head to come up with my theme. My question was, what effects does the bachelor world have on males in this society?. That is when I came up with self hatred, a word that defined most of the men that watched this show. I used my poem to dig deeper into the male brain. I also used what I knew about Chris’s season in order to compare my own perspective to the narrator’s perspective. I learned that as much as I thought this show made my year and how happy I was watching it, it seriously can ruin how a person views himself. The way that the show affected this man and how he barely could live with himself, it made me see a whole different world. To conclude, you can never take one side, always get all the sides to a story before you make an opinion on something.