Depression & Self-Determination

Ever had the feeling where you did not know which way to go or what to do? Woke up with a feeling why you are alive? In my previous blog post I discussed the importance of “having a why”. Having this why helps you to guide your decisions. However, there is more. Especially when you have the feeling that you do not know which way to go, what to do with your life or even, why it matters. Gives you headaches, doesn’t it?

Well, lets answer what happened. Either one of the two things: you did not get what you wanted, so you experienced some major setbacks. Or, (can be ‘and’) your needs might not have been met. Lets discuss this from a Self-Determination Theory perspective. According to this theory, we humans have three basic psychological needs in order to feel a sense of well-being; autonomy, competence and relatedness. Autonomy is the need to experience a certain degree of freedom to do what you want to do. A certain degree of independence. The degree might vary from person to person. The need competence means that you want to have something that you are good at. Finally, relatedness means that you want to belong somewhere, or at least, experience a sense of belonging. This means that there are others whom you trust and with whom you can share your stories with. When these needs are fulfilled, the theory predicts that you will undertake more intrinsically rewarding activities. Activities that you’re doing because you’re interested in them, and because you think these activities are fun.

So basically, when those three core needs are not being met, you’re bound to get stressed, anxious, and if you’re in that situation for too long, there is a high possibility you will become pessimistic and thus a high chance of becoming depressed. Especially when you are in a situation in which you are motivated extrinsically. Extrinsic motivation is when you feel that it is a ‘must’ to do it, and you feel embarrassed when you’re not doing it. In these activities it is highly likely that you’re experiencing stress.

Dealing with it

So, how do you deal with a situation where those needs are not met? At least, what your needs are, are identified. Still, it is important to make these needs more specific. So, what were the reasons you became depressed? What is it that you now need, as a person? If your depression is ‘a bad one’ it is important to seek help, get support, a coach for example, or some friends. Open up to them, and ask them whether they can help you achieve your needs, the basic psychological needs that is. Once these are fulfilled, it will become easier to undertake both intrinsically and extrinsically motivating tasks. When you are experiencing psychological well-being, you’ll have more happiness as well.