Embrace the unknown

Let the uncomfortable situations guide you through

I like public speaking.
I’m anxious about it, but I like to be in front of a bunch of people, drive them through a nice history and give them an insight into what’s inside my brain.

What really cracks me out is the end of the presentation when we open for questions. The uncertainty of not having all the answers and not knowing what the others are thinking makes me anxious like an awkward teenager in their first party.

One of these days I was presenting a project that I'm really proud of. I had prepared some slides with digestible information and was happily leading the audience through my thoughts when in my last slide, I anxiously opened for questions — hoping for a few seconds of silence, and a final "cool, next presentation, please.."

But well, real life is not that easy. A guy interrupted the silence and asked a question — a really good one! I could feel my face burning and my shaky sweaty hands trying to hold the microphone still. I didn’t know the answer.

In milliseconds — or maybe a few minutes? — all the possibilities of what could go wrong went through my mind. Could I be fired? Was I looking silly in front of all those people? Could I die of a panic attack right now?

I was there, paralysed, blushed, in silence.

“That’s the end of the line for you sis…” — said my impostor syndrome.

I took a deep breath and realised that I needed to face reality — you don’t know what you don’t know and you can't change that right now. With a trembling voice I finally said:

I don’t know…yet.

When those words came out of my mouth I felt relieved and against my expectations, nothing bad happened. People nodded and I could see their pensive faces.

The vulnerability of the unknown created a magical thing: empathy.

I could tell that everyone in the room had somehow experienced how it feels not having all the answers. We are all humans. After the presentation, many people approached me to discuss possible solutions to that question.

I felt safe and relaxed among these people, we were building a safe environment. This experience reminded me that I should be kind to myself like all those people were being kind to me.

I believe that these experiences are what makes my career worth it. When I can ignore my deepest fears, remember that I am human and have the courage to say 'I don't know'.