Happy 2016! I do love the New Year, New Year’s Eve in particular. One main reason I love it? NYE happens to be my and hubs wedding anniversary. We’re going 2 years strong peeps! Another reason? It’s a time that people get introspective. I think it’s always good to reflect on where you have come and how you have grown.
This year though, it’s been a bit different. For the first time I am a bitter about the idea of change, “making the best you,” etc. I went to the gym yesterday evening at prime time, and there were tons of people there- the yearly gym-time influx- trying to get that 6-pack, or morph into that perfect waif that’s behind the extra 15 pounds. I saw all of this, and I got angry. Why? No, not because of the increased difficulty to get to the machines I wanted to get too. I got upset because of the capitalization. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best version of you possible- heck, as people and especially as mothers, we all want that. But it’s the idea that’s tied to it.
“You’re not good enough.”
I don’t know about you, but being negative has never motivated me long term to stick with anything. Research supports the same thing, weight loss programs fail. In fact, when dieting most people typically stay around +/- 3% of their initial body weight. For me, that would be a weight loss (or gain) of about 3–4 lbs. Not that big of a deal right? Especially since around 3% fluctuation really is mostly water/sodium balances more so then actual weight loss. Of course, this is dependent on the person, but I digress.
As a Mother, I don’t want to teach my son that my identity is based upon my weight. Because it’s not. Sure, there’s something to being confident and taking care of yourself, yes- that’s part of self-pride and self-care. But, being your idea of perfection is never going to happen. As my husband tells me over, and over, and over again “perfection doesn’t exist.” Of course, I still try to prove him wrong. But, per usual, unfortunately, this year at midnight I did not sprout 5 inches. I am still me. And I am okay with that! For 2016, if I could reformulate the message for the year, it would be “Hello gorgeous. You’re awesome as is. Now let’s find some ways to keep that awesomeness going.”
Luckily for you, I have done some research about what truly motivates and inspires us. Mommas, you want some crayons in your crayon box that will motivate you to progress in positive change? Well look no further, here’s a small list.
- Give Yourself Permission to Prioritize You. As mothers, our very nature is to be nurturing. We give of ourselves to everyone, to our families, to our pets, to our friends, to our job(s). There’s rarely any time to for us and to develop ourselves. This is a travesty because by giving away all of our energy, we don’t give ourselves time to re-energize. This is not a positive experience because soon, at some point, we will be zapped out. Take a cell phone- we use it, and use it, and abuse it. But, we always carry around a charger and give it an hour or so where we don’t touch the thing so it can spring back to life. A dead cell phone is of no use to anyone. If we’re diligent enough to give a cell phone an hour a day to recharge, shouldn’t our minds, bodies, spirits have at least an hour as well? Believe me, buy giving yourself this gift, you will not only accomplish everything in the day you meant to initially, but you will do it better, more focused, and more creatively then you would have originally done.
“What re-energizes you energizes others.” - Find Your Big Goals- and Do Them First. Every day I wake up and try to make a list of 3–5 things that if I do, I will consider myself a success. I prioritize this list above anything else. What may a list look like? Today’s list:
– Workout
— Blog
— Begin PPTs for talks
— Write another paragraph for Training & Development Class
— Write another paragraph for my Prenatal Recipe Book These lists are not earth shattering. If I make my goals too lofty, I am not going to reach them i.e. if I wrote “Write all of my PPTs for my talks” …yeah right. Baby steps are baby steps, but its movement in the right direction. Also, by writing a list I can make sure to fit these big rocks in my day. If anyone has seen the Franklin Covey analogy, always fit in your big rocks first… then the sand will fit its way into the day. I promise.
3. Find Real Reasons to Get Healthy, Not just Fantasies. Are you going into the New Year with the idea of losing the baby weight, or to eat better since life has gotten into the way? That’s great! But that’s not going to motivate you to stick with it. Michelle Segar in her book “No Sweat” points out the fallacies of these “wrong whys.” They may sound good on paper, but they won’t help you when life gets in the way. Find a real reason to move, or eat healthier, or sleep more- whatever your resolution may be. Find the Right Why. One of my favorite reasons to get up in the morning and exercise is because it makes me a better person- it seriously does. On the mornings I work out I have energy throughout the day, I am not as moody, I am a better person, and I get more done. I notice that, and often use movement and exercise to motivate me when I am getting stressed out or super-duper down. Yes, I have the idea this year to lose 5 pounds and to be at my weight when I was doing fitness bikini shows. But, that’s not what’s going to stop me from eating caramel popcorn at 9p at night. When you’re going through your current resolutions, try to find an instant self-gratifying click. Are you happy after you move? Are you more energized after you eat a healthy lunch? Do you do better work when you sleep more? These are the Right Whys, find yours.
4. Forgive Yourself- because You’re Going to Drop the Ball. Sorry to be so blunt, but guess what- you’re going to mess up. You’re going to take that list and only get 3 things done. You’re going to have a baby wake up 3 times at night and sleep through that alarm. You’re going to forget your healthy lunch on the counter at home. Its like, this stuff happens. And, guess what? It’s OKAY. I’ll throw myself under the buss, the second scenario was me yesterday (baby waking up multiple times, I slept through my alarm). Was I upset? Sure. I hate working out in the evening; I don’t have the energy, I want to spend time with my family, etc. How did I combat this? I packed my workout clothes in the morning and figured I’d fit in a workout when I could. This meant I made an effort to walk more yesterday, and I did a short (SHORT) workout at the gym in the evening. A short workout is better than no workout, right? You know what my coworkers said when they heard I slept through my alarm yesterday? “Well, I guess there goes your New Year’s Resolution.” Ha. If they only knew how determined I am- one mistake will not keep me down. And it shouldn’t keep you down either Momma.
These are just a handful of ideas that help me stay motivate- for my family, for myself. What motivates you Momma? Would love to hear from you.
Happy New Year Mothers. May it be the best year yet for you and your family!
– Petra
Originally published at mommiesnmunchkins.net.
