The Renaissance Mother

Petra
Work- Mom
Published in
4 min readDec 21, 2015

How being a multipurpose women is actually a GOOD thing

TOO MUCH to do

Yesterday I met with a friend, actually an old teacher, one whom I haven’t talked to since having my first child. Ironically, or not so ironically really, in the time that we’ve not talked she herself had a child as well. Of course that’s a common bonding point for women to discuss, some basic small talk. How are the kiddos? What’s so n’ so doing? How old is she/he? Us women like to bond through our children, and it’s completely natural. We want to learn from one another and connect within our experiences. Doesn’t everybody?

We did our small talk, and then we got to the meat and potatoes of our meeting (which I won’t bore you with though it COMPLETELY fascinates me). However, at the end of our meeting, as I was putting my notes in order and she was walking me to the door, I was blindsided by this question. “How does it feel being a new Mom?” I blame the intellect gathering during the meeting that formed my response, which was the first thing that came pouring out of my mouth, and I couldn’t stop it.

“I feel guilty.”

I was shocked that I said that. I am sure she was shocked that I said that too. It’s not really something you just say and it’s not something I’d normally be so frank about. But, there it was. There was no going back from that vulnerable truth bomb. She took it in stride, said she felt that way too- which she very well may, I don’t know- and we went our separate ways.

However, that moment stuck with me, and that emotion- guilt. Why do I feel guilty being a parent? I’ve been trying to be more introspective lately; it’s good to know why we do things and not just do. That’s what separates us from the animals I’ve been told. But guilt, guilt, guilt… Why do I feel that way being a mother?

The answer came to me through a cardio session (proof that exercise does help the brain), a series of recent experiences, and a few Ted talks which I will recommend below. But, currently, this is what I belief my answer to be:

When it comes down to it- I have purpose in my life. And only part of my purpose is to be a good, no- scratch that, great mother.

That realization is a blessing and a gasped curse at the same time. I don’t only want to be a great Mom? I also want to be a great employee helping create positive change for women in the work place? An early nutrition expert? An entrepreneur? An author? A blogger? A chef? An educator? An artist? Yes- I want to do all of these things. And more. Oh, and I want to pick back up piano again. So let’s add musician to that list too.

We live in a time where there’s a line drawn on the ground- either you’re an amazing Mom that blogs and cleans and makes organic baby food, OR you kick butt at work, pull long hours, and get things done. What about the Mothers that fall into both roles? That tries to do it all? Franklin Covey in his 5 Habits to Extraordinary Productivity suggests that, as a person, for you to define your roles. He also warns to, if you can, only limit these different roles to 6. Because you can’t certainly excel at everything, correct? While I agree with Covey, no- you can’t be an expert at all, it doesn’t address those people that want to experience life to the fullest. Who gets interested in one thing and pursues it 100%, and then some.

I learned the phrase for these types of people today, the Renaissance Person. I found this fitting since during the 14th- 17th centuries it was considered an aspiration to be multipurpose and have passions in many different things, not just one area. I’d like to extend this to motherhood and form the phrase “The Renaissance Mother.” Let’s be honest, motherhood in general has been all about wearing different hats at different times. There’s been many blog posts about how much a mother would be paid if all of those roles were actually paid out- *spoiler alert* it’s not cheap.

Being a Mom is NOT my only job.

What I’ve learned lately is that I feel guilty as a Mother because I have learned from our culture that being a Mother is the ultimate job. And it is- it gives me the most happiness and the most fulfillment. But, it’s not my only job. And, because of that, I miss out on things as a Mom. I do. And it hurts, and that’s where the guilt lies. But, what I’ve also realize is that if I was only a Mother, if I didn’t chase after my dreams or other purposes in life, what type of example would I be to my son? If I gave up everything, how can I tell him to chase my dreams if I don’t chase mine?

This doesn’t apply to all Moms. There’s plenty of women out there who’s number one goal is to be a kick-a$$ Mom. And, that’s awesome! That’s your purpose in life, and that’s wonderful. But, that doesn’t apply to every Mom and I think it’s important to note that and that that’s ok. We have to learn to forgive ourselves and instead focus on the positive we’re leaving our children. Because though we may miss some of those first moments we will never get back, we also may be able to teach a life lesson and be a mentor to our children in ways that wouldn’t have otherwise been possible.

So strive on Moms- be the Renaissance Mother you really are.

– Petra

Recommended Ted Talks:
“Why some of us don’t have one true calling.”
“The Power of Vulnerability”

Originally published at mommiesnmunchkins.net.

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Petra
Work- Mom

A clinically inclined hippie who studies nutrition, lactation, and the holistic embodiment of it all. A registered dietitian, lactation consultant, and new mom