Dark Matter: The Book That Made Me Question Everything

“For anyone who has wondered what their life might look like at the end of the road not taken.”

This is the first introductory sentence that Blake Crouch, the author of this mind-bending sci-fi/thriller/suspense novel, directs at the innocent reader not knowing what is about to hit them. And, boy, did I get hit… hard. Before diving into this book, I didn’t have any idea on what it was about; just that it has something to do with science and is packed with a thrilling storyline. But after turning the last page I started to question, in all seriousness, the makings of the universe and life as it is.

The book follows Jason Dessen, a dad, husband, college professor and soon-to-be victim of his own self-destruction. “Are you happy with your life?” are the words that Jason will remember for the rest of his life, and that have impacted the remainder of my life as well. This almost-500 page journey explores the themes of identity, morals, the dimensions of reality, all of which have been influenced by personal decisions and cross-roads made in life. And if that isn’t enough to reel you in, it is all centered around the physics of the universe and parallel worlds that have yet to be explored. Jason’s life is probed thoroughly of the ‘what-if’s and ‘maybe’s and ‘damn, I should’ve done this or gone with that’s, steering the reader into the path that inevitably molded his life through an unnerving yet intriguing passage.

While what I just wrote above sounds daunting, this book has allowed me to see through another lens on how we navigate through our existence. It made me back-track and reevaluate the major instances that have pushed me onto the route I am currently driving on. But what about the other routes I’ve never touched upon? The idea of the multiverse begins with the theories of infinite universes and alternate realities. Scientists have speculated that our universe might not be the only one out there; in fact, perhaps parallel universes exist as a consequence of spacetime continuing on forever and eventually repeating. Crouch explains the thought experiment of Schrödinger’s cat and quantum superposition in the context of being the same person across multiple pathways incredibly… that even got me, a student who didn’t really enjoy her time in first-year physics, interested in quantum states. And even if the science behind all of this doesn’t appeal to your interests, the philosophical thought of alternate dimensions containing other versions of yourself is a really fascinating idea to explore.

I immediately imagined what my life would look if I had done different things in the past. Like, what if I never moved to Canada in 2017? Would I have different likes and dislikes, in let’s say, music or movies? Would I sound the same? Would I be feeling the things I am feeling right now? Would I even be writing this piece on a book that has supposedly changed my life? Or what if my family followed through with the move to Switzerland when I was in kindergarten? I often think of this scenario because of how astonishingly different I would be compared to the person I am today. And this train of thought interlinks with my new-found existential dread that I am not the only version of my that exists. What if a version of me who did move to Switzerland is out there, clueless to the possibility of other worlds around her? Is she happy with her life?

As can be seen with what I’ve just written, it got easier for me to dwell on question after question about my existence and my life. But with that uncertainty arose a newfound appreciation for every decision I made in the past, whether right or wrong, that has led me to this exact moment. We often watch ourselves fly by past the years, without a second thought on what small changes we make every day that would lead to endless other possibilities. It’s really crazy if you think about it; that there are possible realms out there containing all of the outcomes to everything we have ever done. Wild.

So, what’s the final verdict? Well, I would one hundred percent recommend this book to anyone out there in need of a thrilling and adventurous journey to embark on; not only the journey of reading the book but dealing with the mental aftermath that shook me (thanks to Blake Crouch!).