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How to Self: Coach, Direct and Lead To Achieve Your Dreams and Goals

Drawing on Insightful Self-Questions and Effective Self-Feedback

Bridget is a poet, a writer and an author. She works with a publishing company when putting her books out into the world. The rest of the time, she works alone, writing her poems and stories. She is continuously striving to establish herself in her work as a literary artist. Her body of works conveys emotion, as well as aspects of art and culture. Her goal is for her work to be financially sustainable.

Bridget has adopted a strategy to self-coach, self-direct, and self-lead herself in pursuing her goal, which is in effect her dream — To be an established and recognised literary artist who is respected for her work, through which she makes a living.

She defines her strategy as:

Self-Coaching: The process of guiding your growth and development, particularly through periods of transition, in both the professional and personal realms.

Self-Directing: A series of independent actions and judgements free from external control and constraint. Individualism from an independent mind, without intervening factors or intermediaries.

Self-Leadership: Having a developed sense of who you are, what you can do, where you are going coupled with the ability to influence your communication, emotions and behaviours on the way to getting there.

………………………………………………………………………………

Bridget had written poetry and short stories for as long as she could remember. But until recently, it had always been something that she had done in her spare time outside of her work as a teacher. At university, she had majored in music and minored in history and had gone on to teach both these subjects at a secondary school in Ireland. Her poems and stories had always connected to her love of the arts and history, and over the years, she had built quite a body of work. She had created a blog to share her work, and she had also been featured in various publications to which she had submitted her work. She had done this, almost as a way of validating that her work was good enough to be published.

This had given her the confidence that she could develop both her poetry and short stories into books that she could put out into the world. To understand how the world of publishing works, she had set out to self-publish her first book of poems and her first book of short stories. Because of the body of work she had developed over the years, her first books were, in effect, already written.

Her strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead had come out of her goal, which was, in effect, to publish her work.

To establish a strategy of Self-Coaching, Bridget used the GROW coaching model framework, asking and answering the following questions at each step of the acronym:

G: Goal.

What do I want?

“I want to publish my poetry and short stories.”

R: Reality

Where am I now?

“I have already written the poems and stories I want to publish.”

O: Options

What could I do?

“I could develop my work into a book of poetry and a book of short stories.”

W: Will

What will I do?

“I will self-publish my work as a book of poetry and a book of short stories.”

To establish a strategy of Self-Directing, Bridget researched what was required to self-publish. She found that Amazon’s self-publishing platform has excellent resources to help her learn what was needed at every step of the way. Bridget simply self-directed herself through each of these steps.

Bridget took an approach of learning by doing. She needed to lead herself through the process, the in the moment actions and steps that she had identified through her approach to self-coach and self-direct, and also to understand the bigger picture actions and steps needed once her books were published, to understand what she then needed to do, that would help her to be successful at this initial stage.

To establish a strategy of Self-Leadership, Bridget began to ask herself what she believed were insightful questions to give herself effective feedback to lead her through the in the moment actions she needed to take and also help her to gain an understanding of future actions needed to achieve her goal. These are the questions and the feedback she gave herself:

Is this the best way to do this? Is there a different/simpler way?

“For now, I believe this is the best way because it’s helping me to understand the process required to self-publish and to get my books out into the world. It appears to be simple. In time I may discover a different/simpler way, but for now, I believe this is my best way.”

What do I need from myself in order to help me reach my full potential?

“I need to learn through this process. This is the first step. I believe this initial step will inform me of future steps. Learning through each step, in time, will help me reach my full potential.”

Bridget’s strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead helped her achieve her goal: To publish her poetry and short stories.

She had loved the process and the experience, and she wanted more of this. She also wanted to find a way to sell more of her books — she had sold a nominal number of books — mostly to family and friends, she wanted to find a way to sell more.

And so she was back to her strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead to first discover what was needed to achieve this and then to follow through on the actions/steps she identified through the insightful self-questions and effective self-feedback practice she had developed.

To self-coach, Bridget once again worked with the GROW coaching model framework.

G: Goal

What do I want?

“I want to publish more books, and I want to sell more of the books I’ve already published.”

R: Reality

Where am I now?

“I have already published my first book of poems and my first book of short stories.”

O: Options

What could I do?

“I could try working with a publisher on my next book/s.”

W: Will

What will I do?

“I’ll approach publishing companies to ask if they would be willing to work with me and represent my work.”

Bridget followed through on the strategy of self-directing that she had already established. She researched publishing companies. She found a number of platforms that had excellent resources to help her to learn what was needed at every step of the way to approach these companies. Bridget simply self-directed herself through each of these steps.

Bridget, once again, took an approach of learning by doing. Once again, she needed to lead herself through the process, the in the moment actions and steps that she had identified through her approach to self-coach and self-direct, and also to understand the bigger picture actions and steps needed once she had established a relationship with a publishing company, and her next book/s was published, to understand what she then needed to do, that would help her to be successful at this next stage.

To self-lead, Bridget once again began to ask herself what she believed were insightful questions to give herself effective feedback to lead her through the in the moment actions she needed to take, and also to help her to gain an understanding of future actions needed to achieve her goal. The questions she asked herself were, once again:

Is this the best way to do this? Is there a different/simpler way?

“For now, I believe this is the best way because it’s helping me to understand the process required to work with a publishing company and to get my book/s out into the world. It appears to be straightforward. In time I may discover a different/simpler way, but for now, I believe this is my best way.”

What do I need from myself in order to help me reach my full potential?

“I need to learn through this process. This is the next step. I believe this ensuing step will inform me of future steps. Learning through each step, in time, will help me reach my full potential.”

Bridget’s strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead helped her achieve her goal: To publish more books. She established a relationship with a publishing company, who worked with her to publish her next book of short stories. Together, they were working on getting her next book of poetry out into the world. This, in turn, helped her to sell more of the books she had already published, simply because her new book mentioned her first books, which led to sales.

Once again, she had loved the process and the experience, and once again, she wanted more of this. She also wanted to find a way to sell even more of her books — she had now sold a moderate number of books — her audience was extending beyond her family and friends, she wanted to find a way to sell even more.

And so, once again, she was back to her strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead to first discover what was needed to achieve this and then to follow through on the actions/steps she identified.

To self-coach, Bridget once again worked with the GROW coaching model framework.

This brings me back to where I began to tell you Bridget’s story. To how she has adopted a strategy to self-coach, self-direct and self-lead herself in pursuing her goal, which is in effect her dream — To be an established and recognised literary artist who is respected for her work, through which she makes a living. At this point in her story, she had gone from being a full-time teacher to freelancing, working as and when she needed to, to support herself financially. She now wanted to make a living through her writing.

G: Goal

What do I want?

“I want to be an established and recognised literary artist who is respected for my work, through which I make a living.”

R: Reality

Where am I now?

“I have already self-published my first book of poetry and short stories. I have established a relationship with a publishing company who have worked with me to publish my second book of short stories and who are working with me to publish my second book of poetry.”

O: Options

What could I do?

“I could try to find ways of getting more exposure as a literary artist.”

W: Will

What will I do?

“I’ll approach platforms that could give me the exposure I need — as a speaker or a panel member to talk about my work.”

Bridget followed through on the strategy of self-directing that she had already established. She researched the platforms that could enable what she wanted and needed. She found resources that helped her to first identify these platforms and then to learn the steps she needed to take to approach them. Bridget simply self-directed herself through each of these steps.

Bridget, once again, took an approach of learning by doing. Once again, she needed to lead herself through the process, the in the moment actions and steps that she had identified through her approach to self-coach and self-direct, and also to understand the bigger picture actions and steps needed once she had established a relationship with the people who managed these platforms, to understand what she then needed to do, that would help her to be successful at this next stage.

To self-lead, Bridget once again began to ask herself what she believed were insightful questions to give herself effective feedback to lead her through the in the moment actions she needed to take, and also to help her to gain an understanding of future actions needed to achieve her goal. The questions she asked herself were, once again:

Is this the best way to do this? Is there a different/simpler way?

“For now, I believe this is the best way because it’s helping me to understand the process required to work with platforms to help raise awareness to me and my work. It appears I need to take a straightforward approach to building relationships. In time I may discover a different/simpler way, but for now, I believe this is my best way.”

What do I need from myself in order to help me reach my full potential?

“I need to learn through this process. This is the next step. I believe this continuing step will inform me of future steps. Learning through each step, in time, will help me reach my full potential.”

Epilogue.

Bridget has begun to establish herself as a guest speaker and panel member, which in turn is allowing her to become an established and recognised literary artist who is respected for her work, through which she makes a living. This takes her away from her writing, but that’s OK, because as Bridget shares through these:

Words Of Wisdom

Twenty times a year, I’ll be on the stage, giving talks or being part of a panel. That makes me the money I need that allows me to spend the rest of my time writing poetry and stories and publishing my work. It also raises awareness to me and my work, which in turn helps to sell my books.

How to Self: Coach, Direct and Lead To Achieve Your Dreams and Goals Assignment

Drawing on Insightful Self-Questions and Effective Self-Feedback

To establish a strategy of Self-Coaching, use the GROW coaching model framework, asking and answering the following questions at each step of the acronym:

G: Goal.

What do I want?

R: Reality

Where am I now?

O: Options

What could I do?

W: Will

What will I do?

To establish a strategy of Self-Directing research what is required to achieve your goal. As with Bridget, you will most likely find platforms that have excellent resources to help you to learn what is needed at every step of the way. Simply self-direct yourself through each of these steps.

Take an approach of learning by doing. You will also need to lead yourself through the process, the in the moment actions and steps that you have identified through your approach to self-coach and self-direct, and also to understand the bigger picture actions and steps needed once you have achieved your first goal, to understand what you then need to do, that would help you to be successful at this initial stage.

To establish a strategy of Self-Leadership, begin to ask yourself insightful questions to give yourself effective feedback to lead you through the in the moment actions you need to take, and also help you to gain an understanding of future actions needed to achieve your goal. You may choose your own questions, but to get started, you can work with the questions Bridget asked herself:

Is this the best way to do this? Is there a different/simpler way?

What do I need from myself in order to help me reach my full potential?

That’s it. Those are the steps to follow your initial goal/dream and every future goal/dream.

If you found this post helpful, you may also like to take a look at The School Of WorkLife books, which are designed to help you fine-tune your learning, development and growth in the areas that are most important to you.

Carmel

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This publication brings you stories created from questions and answers drawn from WorkLife lessons. You will learn about people’s powerful stories of WorkLife struggles and successes.

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Carmel O' Reilly

Carmel O' Reilly

WorkLife Learning Practitioner & Writer. Telling people’s powerful stories of WorkLife struggles and successes. Author of School Of WorkLife Books.

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