Week 4, 2023—Issue #240
Changing Perceptions through Better Habits, Public Commitments, and Frequent Follow-Ups
How and why frequent follow-ups are key to changing the perceptions of others.
Imagine that you have a habit of making destructive comments about the people you work with.
Imagine that you are aware of the problem and that you are committed to changing your behavior.
Next, imagine the following scenarios:
1. Scenario 1: Better Habits
You buy yourself a copy of James Clear’s Atomic Habits. You read it cover-to-cover and you implement his advice. One month rolls by and you make no destructive comments. Two months pass without a single cutting or sarcastic remark. Three months and you are beginning to feel like a changed (wo)man! But at the four-month mark disaster strikes. You let a situation get out of hand and you say something you shouldn’t have. What do you think will happen? Will your co-workers give you a pass?
2. Scenario 2: Public Commitments
You again commit to changing our behavior. But unlike in the previous scenario, you don’t make this a private affair. You announce it in public, informing your co-workers that you want to change. You ask for their support. One, two, and three months pass without a destructive comment. But then at month four you let your guard down again and say something you shouldn’t have said. What do you think will happen now? Will your co-workers give you a pass?
3. Scenario 3: Frequent Follow-Ups
You commit to change and you announce it in public. One month passes without any destructive comments. You now ask your co-workers for feedback. They say that all is well. Two months pass and again, all is well. Three months, and again the same thing happens. A few people even say they’re proud of you! But then at month four, you say something you shouldn’t have. You had a bad day and you let the stress get the better of you. What do you think will happen? Will your co-workers give you a pass?
Marshall Goldsmith, author and leadership coach, tells a version of the above story in one of his seminars.
Perceptions are hard to change and Goldsmith argues that Scenario 3 is the only scenario that has a chance for success.
Your co-workers will not give you a pass unless you’ve given them opportunities to reflect on your behavioral change along the way.
Without such opportunities, your relapse at month four is likely to be seen as a continuation of past indiscretions.
“There s/he goes again. S/he will never change!”
But with frequent follow-ups, there will be an acknowledgment of time passed which, in turn, will place the relapse in a more favorable light.
“S/he’s changed. This was just an unfortunate gaff.”
Changing perceptions isn’t easy. It requires time and effort. Specifically, it requires better habits, public committees, and frequent follow-ups.
That’s all for this week.
Until next time: Make it matter.
How can we build better organizations? That’s the question I’ve been trying to answer for the past 10 years. Each week, I share some of what I’ve learned in a weekly newsletter called WorkMatters. Subscription is free. Back-issues are published to Medium after three months. This article was originally published on Friday, January 27, 2023.
