As women, why are we always angry?

Aditi Chakraborty
Workplace and Women
4 min readOct 19, 2023

As I continue to write to explore and understand my feelings, here is another attempt at trying to pen down the anger that we as women feel in our day to day lives. It gets triggered by many things — opinions, judgement, taking up more ownership and often never being able to relax or take a break on your own terms.

Don’t mistake me, I do not mean actual anger here but shades of fear, despair, insecurity desperation, lows, highs far more.

It starts from the time you are born. The first call of judgement that is passed by others, often members of the family, is about the colour of our skin or how we look. In fact, the female gender itself can be a cause of worry for some sets of parents. From that moment, we turn from children to liabilities who are guests in their own houses. I know and absolutely agree that for some people who believe this, there are hundreds of people who don’t and accept a daughter with welcoming arms!

As we grow up, we often face a lot of discrimination. What to wear, how to behave yourself, how to talk to elders, not speaking up your mind or simply not being allowed to do things which others in the family might be allowed. Fortunately, families are educating women at least, but the biggest issues are they are taught to take simple subjects or drop out after class 10/12. In case they pursue their careers, it is often made clear that this is just so that they have something to do but not to pursue a career after marriage.

Imagine going through all of this on a daily basis. Insecurity, Fear is almost always bound to creep up. While growing up men are taught that they java to be the sole providers of the family and hence men learn to fight, they know that they have to go out and work come what may. They become okay with healthy risks, try out multiple things, switch jobs when things don’t work and more. But women are not taught to do that. There are various interesting studies which show women take feedback and failure more seriously than men, because they are not taught how to handle it.

As you rise higher in your corporate ladder, you see a lot of discrimination, some places men are preferred, they have a stronger bond with bosses, and often somebody else gets a promotion instead of you. What I feel like the worst part is men cutting you off or simply not taking ideas that could have been good enough. This adds to the frustration of already things piling up on our platters.

And it doesn’t end here. If you are not lucky, you end up in marriages that are designed to help the male members only. There are a lot of people nowadays who “allow” women to work as long as they manage the household chores and can come back on time and maybe a few hundred other restrictions. Serving at work, then serving your family, husband and kids. Let’s come to kids.

Keeping aside the fact the pregnancy is physically and mentally stressful for all women, the moment the baby comes it becomes a mother’s responsibility to not only nurture the child but continue doing all of the responsibilities she was doing. So now you have an additional moral responsibility as well, of bringing up the child. You have to behave a certain way because you are a mother, let go of all your “bad habits” like going out with friends, enjoying a beer or two.

The pile of compromises and sacrifices keep increasing and so does the frustration or the despair. You long to spend time alone or quality time with husband or do things that you love. But it is not possible because our society has set so many limitations on us women that you can never fight them all!

  • You are judged if you don’t study and don’t get respect in your family.
  • You are criticised if you overstudy and stop listening to parents
  • If you do a job, you should have already taken care of house chores.
  • If you don’t do a job, what else do you have to do other than doing house chores.
  • People look down upon you if you decide not to have a kid and question your “maternal instincts”
  • But if you have a kid, you must spend all your time nurturing them because the father is in office!
  • You can’t talk back or fight because it’s un-lady like.
  • If you travel alone, there’s a chance someone gropes your or makes your uncomfortable.

My whole point of this article isn’t to put men in a bad light or be a man hater or say that men are responsible for all the evil in the world. My point is, the world is changing and women are progressing but men still stay the same. Perhaps, patriarchy is comfortable. But this causes women to be angry all the time. Each and every woman does not go through all of these problems but every woman for sure has faced one of these issues. If we cannot create a space where women receive the same nurturing that they are expected to provide, we end up with tired, lonely, angry, frustrated women in homes. To help women stay happy and be happy, all one person needs to do is stay away from sharing their opinion on how women should behave!

Photo by Molnár Bálint on Unsplash

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Aditi Chakraborty
Workplace and Women

A freelance Web designer. I help people start profitable side-hustles by offering key marketing skills — Social media management, web design, copywriting & more