7 Client Concerns to Refer to A Sex Coach
When a client approaches you with a sexual concern, it may be difficult to offer the specific help they need within the context of the field in which you practice. Have you ever had a client mention casually during a routine appointment that they haven’t had sex in years or that they’ve given up on trying to have an orgasm? Sometimes a sexual concern can take you completely by surprise. You may even find yourself at a loss for words when faced with an unfamiliar sexual query like whether certain BDSM practices are safe or too risky to try. Sexual wellness is multifaceted and often relies on the knowledge and expertise of many different fields. That is why having a solid understanding of when to refer out to a certified sex coach can ensure that your clients get their sexual concerns addressed in a timely manner.
A general rule of thumb when considering referral options is to refer out when you do not feel equipped to handle a client’s concern and direct them to the best source for meeting their needs. But when exactly does a sexual concern that began as something voiced in confidence during the context of the client’s appointment become grounds for referring to a sex coach? Below are some examples of common client concerns that could originate in your office but reveal themselves to be perfect instances for referring to a sex coach.
Non-medically Related Erectile Difficulties
Medical professionals are often the first point of contact for men experiencing erectile difficulties. These issues may include arousal difficulties, early ejaculation and delayed or absent ejaculation. When someone falls within the expected range for testosterone levels and he is not experiencing complications due to a prescribed medical regimen and is in good mental health, you should refer him to a sex coach.
Sex coaching provides a space for male clients to evaluate the mental, emotional, bodily, energetic and spiritual correlations he may be having with his arousal and ejaculatory experience. There are many aspects of “performing” the masculine role often required of men that can have negative consequences on his experience of pleasure. He may need coaching for deepening his connection to his own sexuality, or for learning techniques that he can try on his own in order to build arousal. A certified sex coach can develop a plan that will highlight the specific needs of the male client and eliminate whatever barriers may have been keeping him from having the kind of erectile experience he would like.
Women Who Experience Orgasmic Difficulties
It is no secret that most women will have some difficulty experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasm at some point in their lifetime. This is often reported to their gynecologists, psychologists and couples counselors as difficulty achieving orgasm. If you are a healthcare provider and you work with a female population, you probably have had the experience of a woman asking about how to achieve orgasm. You may have felt that you did not have had the time, expertise or comfort level to explore the many of reasons that a woman may have for her lack of orgasmic satisfaction. If this is the case, then referring these clients to a sex coach is the best option for helping them identify the root cause and lay out a map that will lead the client toward sexual fulfillment.
Women experience orgasmic difficulty as a result of many different things including self-monitoring, trauma, body image issues, lack of confidence when asking for what she wants, and the natural physiological and hormonal changes that occur throughout a woman’s lifespan. It may be necessary and beneficial for a sex coach to work in tandem with you as the client’s mental health care practitioner or physician. Providing multiple levels of support can be the best course of action when addressing these concerns.
Couples With Mismatched Desire
Mental health practitioners such as therapists, couples counselors and marriage and family therapists may encounter couples who have issues related to mismatched desire. While helping couples to communicate about their sexual needs is an integral part of overcoming sexual desire mismatches, few therapists will address the nuts and bolts of how to physically make sex more enjoyable and therefore more desirable for both parties. That is when a sex coach should be recommended. Sex coaching for couples allows both parties to discuss their wants and needs openly while examining the logistics and resources for what the couple wants to achieve. The couple can then set the course for the sex coach to assign homework for them to complete as individuals and as a couple.
Sexless Couples (Who Do Not Want to Be)
Sexless relationships can lead to a multitude of mental health and physical concerns for clients. Both female and male identified clients may seek medical attention for what they believe to be low desire. They may also seek out mental health support if the lack of sex in their relationship has triggered depression or anxiety. When the root cause of the concern that these clients present is a sexless relationship, you can recommend the services of a sex coach to help identify the reasons for the absence of sex and help build sexual desire for both parties.
Couples Involved in Specific Sexual Communities
Some couples may express in therapy that they would like to integrate kink into their relationship or learn how to open their relationship to other partners. Perhaps they are already polyamorous or they are having difficulties with re-defining the rules of their open relationship. If these areas not your expertise, then referring to a certified sex coach who focuses on these aspects of sexuality could help out tremendously.
Clients with Persistent Dating Issues
One of the areas of sex coaching that can be of great use to a wide range of clients is support throughout the dating process. Some clients seek out mental health services after a breakup, divorce or other romantically troublesome time. As a therapist, you may be able to encourage emotional growth, help them grieve and begin to envision a new romantic life. But if they have limited dating experience or lack confidence with dating online or by other means, a sex coach is a valuable asset for helping this client develop the skills, confidence and clarity they need to be successful in their dating life.
Clients Who are Transitioning
You may see clients of all ages who are undergoing gender transition. Depending on the client’s circumstances, they may or may not have a community or family members to support them in their day-to-day lives. A sex coach can be that support for practical concerns like increasing comfort while shopping for gender-specific clothing. There are also coaches who are gender nonconforming or who identify as trans who can be a source of understanding throughout the client’s gender identification journey. The fact that many sex coaches utilize teleservices for conducting their sessions means that transitioning clients can find a sex coach that they feel comfortable with no matter where they are. They do not have to go through transitioning alone.
How to Find a Sex Coach
The World Association of Sex Coaches is a global network of certified sex coaches and allied professionals. You can search the International Directory of Sex Coaches in your area and schedule a call with a sex coach near you, especially if you find yourself in a panic after a client asks you a sex-related question. Sex coaches are highly trained professionals, some with backgrounds in mental health or medicine themselves. It is always best to know who to refer out to in the moments when you are confronted with a client in need. When it comes to getting your clients practical help for a sex-related concern, having a sex coach’s contact information will be of great help.
Originally published at www.linkedin.com.
