My Emotional Health

[Read my Privilege Statement]

I don’t have a diagnosed mental health condition, but I have struggled with my emotional health since I was little.

I had a really hard time controlling my anger, would get into super depressive states, and skipped meals. I was under so much stress as a kid, and I know the overuse of my flight or flight has affected me as an adult.

I’m happy to say that my last panic attack was in college. I started seeing a therapist who really helped me find a combination of practices (like mantras, journaling, connection to nature, and alone time) that helped me calm my mind before it got too far.

Last week was one of the most difficult weeks I’ve had emotionally in a long time. One event triggered all of the relationship, family, and societal pressure to just hit at once. I found myself spiraling into a really dark place. I suddenly remembered what my childhood felt like.

This time I decided to tell the truth when my friends asked me how I was doing. The love and support I received from them was amazing. Every conversation and every day felt a little better. I felt so supported. I didn’t feel alone.

I don’t have a diagnosed mental health condition, but I believe that emotional health is an aspect of mental health. I’m just sharing my experiences with hope that someone realizes that they’re not alone. It’s okay to ask for help. We got you.

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I originally shared this in a series of Instagram stories. A few people asked if I would feel comfortable sharing more publicly, so here it is…

Thank you to all of my friends who reached out with compassion, encouragement, and love. Thanks to those who shared their stories with me — who let me know that they were taking action to take care of their mental health. And a very special (tear-filled) thanks to my friends who spoke with me last week, who listened to me and heard me, and helped me work through my issues. Heading to see my therapist today!

I know this picture is kind of hilarious (maybe I was trying to be a skateboard model?), but what I remember most about being 8 years old is the constant stress and dark holes. I know these experiences primed my emotional and physical responses to stress. But I also know that I learned to be resilient, to see people as humans first rather than their relationship to me, and to share what I feel.

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