Intergenerational Memory Book: Chapter 1 — Loneliness

The Story of Aaron Mendez, a Native-American social behavioral scientist

I had the honor to interview my hero and mentor, Aaron Mendez, recently. We chose to discuss loneliness because of its prevalence in my generation (Millennials) and more so in the next generation (Gen Z). Allow me to introduce you to Aaron and discuss some of his thoughts on the topic:

Who is Aaron anyway?

Growing up wanting to be a kinesiologist, Aaron realized he got a lot of rewards being socially active and understanding others. He grew up in the most segregated city in the nation — Milwaukee, WI — and had to overcome directly, and indirectly, many social issues ranging from homelessness, racial-bias to poverty. Ultimately, all his life experience led Aaron to his journey of solving the issue of homo sapiens’ entitlement.

According to Aaron, there are 3 reasons why loneliness is more widespread now…

1. City planner of our generation didn’t think hard enough about physical connectivity. For instance, Aaron compared Chicago and Milwaukee where one city (Milwaukee) has no proper train system and, as they keep expanding, it’s harder for members of community to meet and get physically connected with their counterparts.
2. Younger generation have the wrong mentality and approach for “making friends”
   a. More people championing the solitude lifestyle
   b. More people developing for themselves (for their own goods) rather than developing for others (for others’ goods)
   c. More people embracing the comfortable life — i.e they should have embrace more friendships with people with different socio-economic background, race, status.. you name it.
3. Technology inventions certainly did not help either. Widespread use of computer/tablet/phone and easy access to internet makes enables people to stay disconnected.

According to Aaron, here are some solutions toward loneliness…

1. When people actually get together physically — fyi, getting together virtually does count
2. When people are doing good for others
3. When people tell each other that they care about someone else and be vulnerable themselves
4. When people talk about who I am, instead of what I am
5. When people are willing to be uncomfortably personal — for instance talking about politics or religion

Here are Aaron’s 3 actionable next steps YOU should take to feel less lonely..

1. Reach out to other people
2. Care about them — You don’t actually have to do anything but just reach out and tell them that you think about them and maybe, ask how they’re doing
   a. A little caveat here: Don’t ask anything in return
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 because we, homo sapiens, are innately social being

Aaron Mendez (middle) working with volunteers at ShelterTech’s Datathon, a community event for people to vet homelessness resources at SFServiceGuide.org

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” — Aaron Mendez