‘Now I am the woman I have always wanted to be’
Survivor of gender-based violence looks to a better future with her daughters
Tania (not her real name), a Colombian refugee, suffered physical and psychological violence at the hands of her partner in Ecuador. She shares her story here.
“I am Colombian. I used to live with my mother in a small town near the border with Ecuador, where several armed groups were active. I decided to come to Ecuador at a very young age, due to the threats and abductions of young people.
Once in Ecuador, I met a man and we moved in together. Soon after, I noticed that he was very domineering — he would not let me go out unless I was with him or his mother. I could not be a free woman because I had to do what he told me.
After countless fights, shouting and beatings, one night he tried to kill me. That is when I took my daughters and left him.
I lodged a complaint with the authorities and stayed at several shelters, where I started to rebuild my livelihood.
The time I spent at Casa Matilde in Quito [a shelter for women victims of gender-based violence] allowed me to realize my self-worth and the importance of my daughters’ well-being. Now I live with my daughters and I have started a small business selling food.
“It’s a lie that you cannot get by without a man, because you can. The only thing that matters is for you to be happy.”
I always feared I would not be able to get by without a man by my side, and I felt that I could not leave my daughters fatherless. However, I made the decision to leave the violence behind and never go back.
At the end of the day, my daughters are happy in a peaceful atmosphere and, thanks to my work, I am able to support them. No more grievances or shouting at home. Now I can enjoy preparing a meal in peace and we can share it without being harassed.
My daughters are even eating better now. Before, the first thing I used to do was serve him and make sure the food was made to his liking. Now, thanks to the support of the World Food Programme (WFP) and the cards they provide to buy food, I have included new ingredients such as beans and quinoa that give my daughters the nutrients they need to develop properly .
Now that I have peace in my life, I have managed to focus on my dreams. I finished primary school and I want to continue studying so that one day I can be a nurse or even become a doctor. I want to be an example for my daughters. I want them to grow up knowing that no one can attack them and that it is not normal to experience violence at home.
For this reason, I would like to send a message to all the women who are going through a situation of violence — we must be brave and know how to stop any affront against us. We cannot let anyone humiliate us. Don’t believe the threat and the manipulation that they seek to exert on us. It’s a lie that you cannot get ahead without a man, because you can. The only thing that matters is for you to be happy.
We as women are worth a lot. Breaking out of the vicious circle of violence is the best decision a woman can make, and is the best example she can give to her children.
Now I’m stronger than ever. I will not let anyone hurt me again or hurt my daughters.”
In Ecuador, 6 out of 10 women are victims of gender-based violence. 87.3 percent of women have suffered physical violence from their partners or ex-partners. Of these, 76.3 percent have suffered from psychological violence and more than 53 percent from sexual violence.
WFP in Ecuador provides electronic cards to women in shelters, that can be used to buy fresh and nutritious food. Through these means, WFP helps ensure that women, boys and girls can nourish their bodies while escaping a life of violence.
Learn more about the mutual relation between gender violence and hunger and malnutrition.
