Home is where you are surrounded by those who care about you.
As a social robot developer, I often think of what constitutes a good society. One way to approach this is from the perspective of a good family and “home” — one of the smallest social units in a society— and I had some musings on this concept of “home.”
I recently had a chance to meet a guy who is traveling without a job nor home. In this age of varied values, it’s not too surprising to see someone who leads a similar lifestyle by choice, but it was my first time listening to such a story told by someone who is in the middle of doing it, not someone who used to travel a lot, or who used to be homeless etc.
Interesting thing was that he did not start out doing it out of a strong conviction — this was not meant to be a social experiment to see how long he can survive out there without a stable job nor a comfortable house, nor he desperately wanted to escape from his previously humdrum daily routine and enjoy the freedom from mundane obligations — he needed to leave his house that he was renting with his girlfriend after breaking up with her, and that was the start of all this. Of course, I am not going to say that there was no emotional quagmire from which he had to pull himself out of at that time, but my point was that the homelessness (and joblessness) was brought about as a result, and was never intended as an end goal of itself.
In a lot of ways, he said, he feels pretty similar to what most of us feel in our daily lives. Meaning, he either loves it or hates it, depending on his outer world’s circumstances; he hates this life style when he has to sleep under the sky in a shitty weather: he loves it when some rich guy with a mansion invites him over to stay: he basically loves it as long as his basic needs are met, and hates it when these things are being taken away form him. He is currently single, and I did not ask him if he has a travel companion who travels wherever he goes (he has a blog in Japanese — you can ask him in person!,) but sounded like he is in this journey alone.
One thing that struck me the most was how nonchalant he seemed about him being home-less, let alone jobless. I venture to guess, it was because of the fact that he had no “home” to call to begin with.
What is HOME?
HOME is not just a house where you sleep, nor a storage space you store away your belongings; HOME is not just a place you cook a nutritious meal, nor place to show off how financially successful you are.
HOME is where your loved ones live.
HOME is where you are surrounded by people who care about you.
Without these people (or a person,) home is not a HOME.
I guess the above mentioned guy was house-less, but I can’t speak for him whether or not he felt he was home-less. If he had no particular attachment to anyone, then it was indeed no surprise that he was in fact nonchalant about being homeless, since there was no home to call to begin with. Similarly, I’m not sure how many of us, those with so called “home” actually can say that we do have a place to call “HOME” in a true sense? If you live alone, or live with someone who does not care much about you, or whom you are indifferent to, can you really call that place “HOME?”
I’m certainly not dissing those who live alone. Heck, I used to live alone in a big city. All by myself, often enjoying the freedom of the single and care free lifestyle. I loved it, and I hated it at the same time. Sure, I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, in whichever way I wanted. Yet, some part of me did not want to stay “home,” because the silence, the lack of warmth, the lack of another person’s presence killed me inside. I had a great job, the house was located in a convenient area, and had a wonderful circle of friends, but the house was never my HOME. It felt empty, suffocating, and the place was not somewhere I would love to be if I had another choice.
A good society, or a good family, offers a sense of “home”: you feel welcomed, you feel warm being part of it, you feel cared for, and you feel your presence is needed there.
I look forward to the day when all of us have the place we can call HOME. I also look forward to the day when a social robot is welcomed to our HOME. What will happen if a social robot has place they can call HOME? That is the question we’ll never be able to answer in one sentence, but it is certainly an interesting point to start when imagining a society where humanity and technology coexist in harmony.
Anyway! Time to go home, it is getting cold these days in Kyoto. My HOME is waiting for me:)
Stay warm!
XOXO,
Yuki
