We all think that travelling with the family, especially on a long term trip is a great experience, with many adventures and quality family time. Although it does stand true in a general sense, on a day to day basis it can be also unpleasant and annoying as well. Here are a few things what we find, as parents, not so fun about long term travelling.
Sibling pestering: during travel, there can be many situations which create a sense of boredom in the kids. There is a lot of ‘dead time’ around; it can be waiting for transportation, waiting in line, waiting for mom and dad to make a decision, wandering at an ‘uninteresting’ sight, the time of getting from one place to another, you name it. Of course it is also dependent of family dynamics. It happens that our kids just love to pester each other. And we just can’t stand it.
Constant interruptions: with the kids being always around and up to something, we are constantly interrupted either by some pestering, or some questions (mostly not relevant at that point), or some requests (probably not relevant at that point either). It is really difficult to listen to some important explanations or information that we are given (at hostels, tourist information centers, train station etc.), while our kids are interrupting. Losing the train of thought on a daily basis is a real drain on our energy and patience.
Miscommunication: in many cases, this stems from the previous point. Interruptions and losing the train of thought make communication between adults more difficult and sometimes totally misfire. I meant this when I asked that and the other heard or meant that when he answered. Result? Frustration, arguments and waste of time. On the other hand, it does force us to communicate better (previously, we thought we were quite good at this actually).
Living on the street: ok, it doesn’t mean we are literally live on the street, but because we spend most of the daytime sightseeing or walking around, we deal with many things on the spot, be on the street, at sights, in shops, on means of transportation, in restaurants, etc.) with everyone else watching. Issues include sibling arguments, pestering, temper tantrums, fights (the boys can get quite physical sometimes), whining, sulking and disappearing, and the sorts. For an outsider, we can look like an inapt parent (or problematic children) in any in these situations.
Lack of ‘me time’: spending 24/7 together, this is valid for kids and parents alike. Although we try to give personal time to each, and find places and activities they would find interesting, this is not always enough. The kids would benefit from some peer company, and being in a context other than family. For us it is similar as well. Being 24/7 together, does get on our nerves sometimes. We could split up on a regular basis to remedy this, (I got that advice before leaving actually), but in fact, we split up only occasionally (and we split up the kids as well, so it’s not alone time anyway).
Eating issues: meals can be a hassle. You would think travelling is the perfect time to try out new and different things. Yes, and no. Searching for a place when most of us are hungry in an unknown place can be very tricky, even more when the cuisine is unfamiliar and you don’t speak the language. There are many criteria to consider: what’s there to eat (can we read the menu? can we understand what’s on the picture or what we see in front of us? can we explain what we want? do we really want to eat that?), who would eat it (and who not), how much it costs, and the like. There are times when meal hunting are the low points of the day.
Mushy brains: we don’t keep up with a lot of structured ‘school work’ as much we thought we would. The kids do read, and we give them occasional diary writing and some math, but not too often and not regularly. I didn’t think it would make such a difference of being out of school, but imagine a ‘summer brain drain’ that lasts much longer and gets worst, especially in the A’s case. Although the kids do learn things, some other skills (especially spelling and some more abstract thinking) goes in a downward spiral, while silliness takes its place.
No nightlife: ok, this is not what it sounds, I don’t mean going out drinking or dancing (we are not that type). What I mean is that we are sort of limited on how long we can stay out in the evenings. Sometimes we do get back to our accommodation a bit later than usual, but we don’t do that on a regular basis. This was less of an issue in some northern areas we visited during the late fall/early winter as it was getting dark early. In any case, usually we are back by 6 or 7pm (depending where we are having dinner), to have enough time for the kids to get a shower and go to bed at a decent hour. Although it can be nice to experience places in the evening hours, but then we pay the price with cranky kids (especially the boys) the next day, so we tend to avoid this.
Losing things: constantly moving from place to place, especially with young children, means losing things. Even though I knew this ahead of time (as does every parent), I still find this very frustrating. Since the beginning of our trip, we managed to loose two hats, a pair of sunglasses, a fleece jacket, our set of cutlery (very handy), a pair of flip flops, a bathing suit, one mitten, a purse, and two compasses. In average, that makes more than two items per month. I guess I could say that’s actually not too bad, but in normal times we manage not to loose things often, which is why we find this frustrating. Not to mention that you don’t always can/want to shop to find the item you need to replace.
Well, these are the issues we are dealing with on our trip (that I can think of right now). I presume it also depends on the way a family travels. Certainly travelling with more budget would lighten some of the stuff, mostly by saving time (taking faster means of transportation, or not being picky with where you eat, etc.). Personal temperament and family dynamics would certainly impact these points as well. In any case, in case you wondered, we are not spending time in seventh heaven. We just dealing with regular family issues in a more concentrated way while travelling around.
