Conversations With My Wife About My Writing
Learning to Engage — With Confidence
It’s always seemed to me the the ultimate test of engagement is stand-up comedy. The distilled wit, the elicited imagery, and the delivery all have to be just right if it’s to work. And I’ve always wondered if one could replicate the experience using the medium of the written, as opposed to the spoken word. So, for better or worse, here follows an experiment that is admittedly somewhat self-indulgent, but which I hope you’ll find entertaining…
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I’ve been writing professionally for a long time. Sometimes for pretty good pay, sometimes for not so good pay. Either way, it’s always involved the input of a lot of time and effort. So much so that my wife and daughters have, at times, bridled at my being constantly distracted, always walking around in a kind of thought-induced daze, and paying little genuine attention to what they were doing or saying. Being a kind of absent-minded professor — which I actually was in an earlier life. As a result, my wife and I have, from time to time, had some far too candid conversations about my writing activities and would-be career.
For example, we were out one evening walking with our two dogs, when I told her I really needed to get back home to do some writing…
She said snarkily, “Why don’t you try writing a few checks, for a change.”
Abashed, I told her I really thought I just needed to find some inspiration…
She replied, “How about settling for some perspiration in a paying job?”
So, I told her I didn’t think that kind of sarcasm was funny…
And she said, “Neither is your writing.”
Which I have to tell you kinda got to me, so I pointed out I really didn’t appreciate her making those kinds of jokes at my expense…
To which she replied, “Well, I’d be happy to make them for free.”
But I don’t want to give you the wrong impression… We weren’t always at odds over my writing…
When I first started out as an aspiring wordsmith, I carried in my pocket at all times a 3x5 index card for recording great ideas as they came to me..
Unfortunately, a couple of decades later, the card was still blank.
Of course, part of that is because I moved on to using a mini voice recorder, then more recently an iPhone to keep track of my insights…
However, I gave that up, as well… when Siri kept telling me to STFU.
On the positive side, I truly believe I owe a lot of my writing development to the edgy tension between my wife and me about it…
I remember once telling my wife I had a great idea to discuss…
She replied that all my ideas grate on her.
So I tried to tell her maybe I just needed some mental stimulation…
She suggested a Taser.
I told her she wasn’t fooling me, that I knew she actually had a heart of gold…
But she replied, “Not any more. I had to hock it, to pay for groceries.”
Still, I can say I would not have wanted it any other way… At least, I think not…
Once during a quieter moment, I said to my wife, “You know, the things you say about my writing really aren’t funny…”
But she replied, “That’s been my line all these years.”
Exasperated, I told her our conversation really wasn’t going anywhere…
She just chuckled derisively and said, “Yeah, just like your writing career.”
About me, Phil Friedman: With 30 some years background in the marine industry, I’ve worn numerous hats — as a yacht designer, boatbuilder, marine operations and business manager, marine industry consultant, marine marketing and communications specialist, yachting magazine writer and editor, yacht surveyor, and marine industry educator. I am also trained and experienced in interest-based negotiation and mediation. In a previous life, I taught logic and philosophy at university.
Most recently, as a professional writer, editor, university educator, and speaker, with more than 1,000 print and digital publications, I’ve recently launched an online program for enhancing the impact of your expository writing. My mission is to help writers and would-be writers improve the clarity of their thought and writing, master the logic of discussion, and strengthen their ability to deal confidently with criticism and disagreement.
If you’d like to sample more of what I’ve written, here are three of my more popular posts.
“Three Points of Advice to My Teenage Daughter”
“Conversation Isn’t Just Waiting Politely to Speak”
“Why Executive Management Doesn’t Get Bad News Until It’s Too Late to Do Anything About It”
Text Copyright © 2016 by Phil Friedman — All Rights Reserved
Images Credits: the Author, Stuart Miles, and Google Images
