Worm Regards #1: The Intro

Welcome to Worm Regards, the official weekly newsletter of Celebrity Memoir Book Club a.k.a. Claire and Ashley a.k.a. Clashly. We’ve decided to take turns dipping into your inbox every Friday with final thoughts on our memoirist of the week, pop culture musings, loose rants, hot recs, and more. It’ll be a bit of a grab bag every time but what’s not to like about that? This week I, Ashley, am going to get it all started without even mentioning Bug once. Starting now.

Final Thoughts: It’s Always About Charlie Sheen

I’m starting to realize that America’s favorite pastime is unfortunately, not baseball. It’s forgiving men who have done unthinkably bad things. We revel in scandal of any kind, but looking closely, the tone surrounding a man’s downfall is an unmistakable excitement to build him back up. Everybody loves to gather in comments sections to explore how he’s growing, changing and should be applauded for minuscule efforts. Everything in his life becomes proof of his growth and recovery, include the women he associates with from that point forward. Denise Richards entered her relationship with Charlie Sheen as an actress with a growing resume of her own, but she became a line item proving he had changed, until it turned out he hadn’t. When she wasn’t the woman that could change him she was collateral damage and she’s spent every day since placating absolute nonsense trying to minimize the damage to her own reputation.

I’ve sent myself spiraling realizing that there’s no such thing as a woman scorned, only a woman who couldn’t change a man to the point that he wouldn’t scorn her. Because of that Denise Richards has been forced to center Charlie in her own story ever since to regain any control of the conversation. I initially read the positive spin in her memoir as a play to protect her children but the more I think about it she’s protecting herself from a story that shouldn’t even really be hers.

Misc. Dirt: Peak Kardashian

This week I heard someone say that we’re currently experiencing “peak Kardashian.” While they’ve never been richer or more followed on social media, it got me thinking about what we consider “peak,” because to me it can be explained by Season 2 Episode 2 of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times. Making good reality TV is hard work, many families have tried and failed to stay relevant while having every moment of their lives exposed but the Kardashians were able to wiggle their way into over a decade of relevance and I think it had to do with the true, raw family moments that we witnessed way back when. When the show started, they were rich and celebrity adjacent but they were a family above all else. They went from chillin to screaming to chillin in the way that only siblings and the closest friends do, and seeing those relatable and unflattering moments was genuinely endearing.

In this episode of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami, Kourtney claims she’s an experienced self-waxer and offers to give Khloe a bikini wax. She ends up burning Khloe and insists that applying butter to the burn would help when Scott walks in and witnesses the horror show.

This moment, while closer than any relationship I’ve ever had, is something I think about every time I see current-day Khloe and Kourtney with their hair perfectly in place and their houses pristine. Sure their lives were always aspirational, but it wasn’t just the big houses and fancy lives. I loved and looked up to the way they had each others’ backs no matter what. I haven’t seen every episode since but today I feel like every moment of the show is a controlled, disconnected, and sterile exploration of business and public image. Even the actual fistfight a few seasons back felt unnatural. Their Christmas Cards, while over the top, were about gathering as a family and it completely fell apart the year they started photoshopping themselves into one room. I think it’s impossible to spend too long in the spotlight without your human instincts falling off but to me, peak Kardashian was when they managed to always shove something so relatable into the absurdity and not the moment that they each had their own billion.

Take My Worm for It: This Week’s Recommendations

Bumble & Bumble styling cream: I stole this from my mom before blowdrying my hair when I was in Chicago a few weeks ago and I swear to god this shit revived my entire head. I don’t know what’s in here but whatever it is my hair was very stoked on it.

This Tik Tok made me laugh for like 7 minutes straight.

One Last Thing

Here’s a picture of a dog.