Worm Regards #2: Naked, Afraid, and Crying a Lot
Hello worms, welcome to my (Claire’s) first installation of Worm Regards. Please bear in mind that Ashley used to write newsletters for a living and I’m a full on idiot so if you think this sucks you’re objectively right but not very compassionate. I come to you this week after crying on the curb in Greenpoint, elliptical at equinox, and Port Authority to bring you some fleeting thoughts.
A Small Musing
I’ve been waiting for 7 years for an opportunity to speak about Boneless Girl. When I was in middle school and the internet was mostly websites, I would come home from school everyday to log into addictinggames.com. Here I was mostly playing the desktop version of Nokia’s Snake (basic) and Fat Boy Raids the Cookie Factory (problematic). But at the top of the Most Played game charts was always the same game — Boneless Girl. The icon for Boneless Girl was a Sims-like female body in a black bikini with a blonde pixie cut. She was floating among large sky bubbles. It was obviously sexual in a way I couldn’t put my finger on as a kid. I was at that age where you’re obsessed but super stressed by overt sexuality, feeling a lot of curiosity and shame, so I never played. But I did always wonder what could be so great about this game that it stayed number one.
Until the day I couldn’t just wonder anymore. When I finally played Boneless Girl it turned out there was no objective. There was no points, no way to win, no mystery, no levels, no enemy. All you could do was click and drag Boneless Girl, watching her thud onto bubbles, where her body (which had no bones) would just twist and bounce. That was it, that was the game. You just manipulated, dragged, dropped and gawked at this basically naked identity-less woman. I couldn’t understand how anyone would want to play for more than the minute it took to learn. It was just hurting a woman over and over again. On a website full of hundreds of carefully designed and created games, this was the most fun thing for people to do.
Since then, I’ve thought about Boneless Girl almost weekly. When me and my friends would cry about boys and ask “why is he doing this to me?” I would think about Boneless Girl. Recently, I’ve been thinking about when I talk to other online creators. I always knew it was worse for certain groups, but for some reason I thought we all had it bad, just to different degrees. It turns out we don’t. I’ve met a lot of men who do not get hate on the internet. And anytime I catch myself being genuinely shocked at it, I have to think of Boneless Girl. But anytime I catch myself being genuinely hurt by it, I have to think of Boneless Girl. When I am stung by the hate and wonder “why me, what do they want, what have I done wrong?” I think about the lesson I learned at 12 when I played Boneless Girl: People just love to log online and do sick shit to women.
Take My Worm For It
On a positive note! It’s tomato season. Tomatoes get a bad rep in this country, but as a Jersey girl I beg you to go get a fresh Heirloom tomato from a Farmer’s Market. It’s the most delicious food in the world.
And on this week’s Woman Whose Aesthetic Makes Me Want to 100% Change Who I Am: Michelle Norris — Her IG makes me want to abandon everything I know for the pursuit of bright colors. It’s just JOYFUL.
What I’ve Been Watching
Ok if this is a safe space I will admit: I’ve been watching a lot of Naked & Afraid. Mack is really into it and he watches them like, as they premiere. I didn’t even know that show put out new episodes on a weekly basis. I thought it just started out as a rerun. Anyway, I’ve been watching a lot of it and I have some thoughts about how Naked & Afraid is life.
- It’s never the sharks. At the beginning of every episode, they introduce you to that week’s destination fear-first. If it’s the beach, it’s shark-infested waters. If it’s the forest, bears are around every corner. If it’s the jungle? Guess what! Your neighbor is a leopard. But in all my watching, I’ve never seen these major predators be why someone left. It’s always the bugs. Every time, they don’t factor in the mosquitos. It’s the constant little bites and scratches. So, I’m not saying there’s nothing in your life to be afraid of, I’m just saying you’re probably worried about the wrong animal.
- Being naked isn’t the problem. People (my mom) are always like “but why do they have to be naked?” Even the contestants have that moment of the initial reveal where they have to get used to their own and each other’s nakedness. And you know how long it takes to get over? 30 seconds. I don’t know what your literal or emotional “nakedness” is, but once the reveal is over, nobody cares. We’re all just trying to survive out here. Go ahead and build a hut with your dick out, everyone’s moved on.
- You can’t defeat nature. The amount of men that come onto this show post-military ready to kick mother nature’s ass is very close to the amount of men who go home day three. It is absolutely bananas to think you will go into the woods and “win.” There is no winning. The people who complete the challenge just buckle down, accept it will be hard, and take the wins where they find them. You cannot win life! You can only take a deep breath, hope for the best, and celebrate a 5 calorie berry.
Finally, A Meme
