How to find courage for difficult conversations

Going into difficult conversations that you don’t initiate is one thing. But it gets a lot harder when you have to start such a conversation. Instead, you’d put it off — or try to avoid the whole thing. So how do you find the courage to do it anyway?

Why is it so difficult to bring up something?

The reasons are many, and often we get in our way! We brood over possible consequences and are afraid of losing face or getting into a conflict.

Often, beliefs come knocking that make us think we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves or, god forbid, put our needs above those of others, and so on.

In short, we feel discouraged and intimidated and prefer to bury our heads in the sand. But we all know that this relief doesn’t last long.

How do I find the courage to start difficult conversations?

First of all, communication power comes from within. You will only be truthfully convincing if you know your value, and respect yourself.

So the first thing is not to find the suitable date or to plunge right into the preparation of the conversation content, but to get into your inner strength, into your self-worth first.

You must first realize that it’s your right to live your life in a way that suits your needs. You have to believe that you deserve to be content and happy.

Three aspects that lead to more self-efficacy

The following points are, in my opinion, essential for building your inner strength and finding the necessary calm to approach difficult conversations.

• Learn to be empathetic with yourself, allow your feelings, and take your needs seriously. Your emotions and well-being are important!
• Look closely at how you talk to yourself: your attitude towards yourself and your negative beliefs. Be aware that you don’t have to let these thoughts sabotage you; they have no power over you.
• Be aware of your standards; ask yourself if you really have to endure certain situations. (Spoiler: the answer is, of course, no. But you have to believe that first).

This kind of self-communication and self-strengthening will accompany us throughout life — but it eventually becomes a habit, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower in the morning.

When you feel empowered, you are ready to prepare for the actual conversation: The goal, your core message, your attitude, and the wording.
I’ve recorded a video on this topic (German with English subtitles) if you want to know more.

I hope this inspires you to step up for yourself more in the future.
See you next time!

P.S.: I am still practicing my English, so please be kind!