7 Modern Parenting Trends That Can Change Your Management Experience
The first articles linking parenting to leadership were published more than 20 years ago. As a manager who became a parent myself, I discovered this link one day when I was patiently letting my son get dressed on his own, even though we were already late to school.
A number of studies describe directive, overprotective, and consultative parenting styles and it’s easy to imagine these being applied to management. Doesn’t that sound like managers seriously considering just Waterfall versus Agile in 2021? Isn’t there anything else to go deeper?
Even after 20 years, the link between great parenting and great management is still apparent. Here are some ways to bring this knowledge to your team, whether you’re a parent or not.
1. Humanization of the parenting experience
In the hospital, mothers often wish they could get more support for their new challenge. It can be scary to feel like you have no idea where to begin, and being told to just “get on with it” can be frustrating. They often find themselves having to take initiative and manage this new challenge by diving straight in. Rather than receiving a stream of negative comments like “Everybody goes through this, you can too” or “Did you really expect this to be easy?”, they should be given a list of supportive resources, like groups for new mothers or health classes.
When you think of your first management experience, it’s likely that you wish you had more support available to you. Did you have to suddenly become the most proactive person in the room and take this leadership over? Did you have a proper introduction with proper expectations? Did you really expect it would be easy? Every manager has somehow gotten through this, haven’t they? So you will too.
Using the often-scary experience of new parenthood as an example can help you to humanize the experience of taking on a new leadership role to your team members. If you have teammates who wish to grow to a manager position one day, it’s important they understand the importance of taking challenges head-on.
2. Self-awareness and community support
Parenting is a hot topic for online discussions, with a lot of communities appearing to provide a place for parents to share their experiences. This is a great support to know that you’re not alone.
There are also thousands of developer communities — but most of the managerial ones are about being a dev lead, a Scrum master, a project manager, but not a senior manager, director, or CTO. Do most of these managers have a safe place to get support with their problems? Do they even think and talk about it? Investing in a space to discuss these issues and find advice is hugely beneficial to both senior managers and those looking to grow in their roles.
3. Equalization of responsibilities
The idea of gender roles in parenthood is losing steam. Parents of any gender can and should show the same skills and responsibilities when it comes to raising a child. The same can be said for leadership — cooperation, empathy, meaningfulness, social responsibility, and impact are all factors that managers of any background should possess. Old leadership styles are not effective in an innovation-based economy. A leader has to be able to facilitate team processes and give everyone an opportunity to speak out.
4. Normalizing burnout
The topic of parents burning out is getting more widely discussed. Mental health of a parent is hugely important to discuss and remain aware of. Parents deserve to feel rested and ready to take on each day, while children deserve present, involved parents.
Your team deserves these values too — managers who are burnt out jeopardize their teams and deprive them of a great teamwork experience and further development. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, but being responsible for others, managers must take responsibility for their mental health and seek support.
5. The role of childhood analysis
Many people can discover the roots of certain personality traits in their childhood. What if we could bring this reflection into our work as managers? What if we recall our experience of being individual contributors and how our managers behaved at that time? Were there any unhealthy patterns that we learned and are copying with our own teams now? How can we move past those patterns to be a better manager now?
6. Elimination of extra pressures
Endless extra-curricular activities are over. Remember yourself running to music/ dance/ art classes after school every day? Care about children developing in a healthy environment became more important than constant rushing. Motivation and interest are prioritized over knowledge.
This lesson is crucial in great management. Constant, unmotivating tasks can take their toll on your teammates. It’s your responsibility as a manager to slow down, take stock of what’s important, and invest your teams’ time into more interesting tasks.
7. The increase of critical thinking
It’s important to teach children to challenge their surroundings and not just silently take your opinion as their own. They should learn how to disagree with you in a respectful manner and discuss issues without getting angry.
Does your team challenge your decisions? The decisions of their product owner? Are they comfortable in expressing their opinions and finding a better solution?
Hopefully, the points above will get much better soon — it depends on many people around. Being a manager, you have a unique chance to change these things in your zone of control even now.
Pavel,
Dad of 2.5-years old Daniel,
Engineering Manager
